Page 57 of Not For Keeps
Anna points a finger. “Exactly. You two already snagged the good ones. The rest? Unavailable, uninterested, or unwilling to commit to someone.” She exhales slowly, her gaze drifting toward the window.
Outside, the late afternoon light filters through the trees, casting soft shadows across the living room floor. The mood settles, the laughter fading into quiet. A longbeat passes.
Anna clears her throat. “Can I say something kind of heavy?”
I nod immediately. “Always.”
Mariana reaches for her hand, already sensing the shift in her tone.
“I want to be a mom,” Anna says softly. “I know we laugh and make fun of all the bad dates, but it’s not just about that. I’m in my thirties. I don’t have anyone. And some days, it feels like that dream—the one where I have a family—is slipping further and further away.”
She swallows, blinking rapidly. “And I know we’re supposed to be all modern and empowered, and I am, but also…I want that life. I want a home, a kid, someone who chooses me back. And I don’t want to be the only one still hoping for it while everyone else moves on.”
“You won’t be,” Mariana says. “He’s out there, Banana.”
“If he is, he better hurry up,” Anna mutters, half-laughing, half-heartbroken. “Unless he’s been hiding in plain sight, I don’t think I’m going to find him anytime soon.”
I watch her carefully. Anna’s the strong one, the sharp-tongued one, the friend who always has the comeback ready and the tissue box waiting if someone else starts crying. But now? She just looks…tired. A little worn around the edges. And I can’t help but wonder how long she has been holding all this in.
“You know,” I say, reaching for another sugar cookie even though I don’t really want it, “there’s nothing wrong with wanting it. All of it. Love, family, the works.”
Anna snorts softly. “Tell that to the guy who ghosted me after I said I wasn’t interested in a situationship.”
“Was that the podcast bro?” Mari asks, grimacing.
“No. That one tried to pitch me his NFT startup. This was the guy who claimed he wanted something real and then disappeared the minute I mentioned wanting kids someday.”
Mari raises her eyebrows. “They really just start running?”
“Like I pulled out a chainsaw,” Anna says. “It’s not like I said I wanted to elope tomorrow and start IVF next week. We’d been dating for a few months, and I just wanted to be honest about what I want in the future.”
I nod, understanding more than I want to admit. “You deserve someone who doesn’t see that as terrifying. Who sees it as a gift.”
“Exactly.” Anna pulls the blanket up to her chin and sighs. “I know it sounds dramatic, but some days I feel like I’m watching this little train—my dream, I guess—pull away from the station. And I’m still standing on the platform, trying to pretend I’m okay waving goodbye.”
Silence falls between us.
Mariana shifts beside her. “Maybe he’s not on the train at all. Maybe he’s already at the destination, just waiting for you to get there.”
“Wow,” Anna murmurs, glancing sideways at her. “That was either very deep or totally nonsensical.”
“Both,” Mari says proudly. “You’re welcome.”
Anna laughs, a real one this time, but her eyes are still soft. Still holding that glint of sadness I know too well.
I reach for her hand. “You’re not the only one who’s ever felt like that. I’ve felt it. Mari’s felt it. Everyone’s just pretending they haven’t. But you—” I squeeze her fingers. “You’re going to get there. And when you do? It’s going to be so worth it.”
“I hope so,” she whispers.
Mari tilts her head, studying her. “What if you already know him?”
Anna rolls her eyes. “If this turns into some cheesy Hallmark plot twist, I swear I’ll throw this blanket.”
“I’m serious,” Mari says, grinning. “You’ve lived here mostof your life. Maybe he’s been here the whole time, and neither of you realized it.”
Anna hums like she’s about to dismiss the idea, but she doesn’t. Instead, she glances toward the window and says, “Maybe.”
Anna clears her throat and nudges me with her foot. “Alright, enough about my impending spinsterhood. What are you going to do next? About Mateo?”
