Page 94 of Not For Keeps
Anna joins in seconds later, arms looping around both of us. “We’ve got you,” she says softly.
When we finally pull back, I manage a small smile. “I’m sorry for the dramatic text.”
“Stop,” Mari says, brushing a strand of hair from my face. “You don’t ever have to apologize for needing us.”
We slide into the booth, Mari on my left, Anna on my right, our knees bumping under the table. The table already has a plate filled with meat and cheese pastelillos, three cups of café con leche, and flan. I grab a pastelillo and tear off a corner, but the knot in my stomach makes it hard to swallow. The flakiness melts on my tongue, the savory meat and cheese warm and familiar, but nothing quiets the storm churning inside me.
Mari pours more coffee into our mugs from the carafe she brought over and gives me a pointed look. “You look like you haven’t slept.”
“I haven’t.” My voice comes out thin, like it’s been wrung out overnight. “I can’t stop thinking.”
Anna places a hand on my leg. “Then think out loud. Let us carry some of it with you.”
I blink down at the pastelillo in my hand, the golden crumbs scattered on the plate below. I don’t even know where to begin.
“I keep thinking about what Maya’s going to ask,” I whisper. “What am I supposed to tell her?”
Mari leans forward. “You don’t have to tell her everything, Lyse. She’s still little.”
“She’s not stupid,” I say. “She’s not going to forget he was here. She’s not going to forget he asked to see her and then disappeared again. She’s going to ask why he left.”
Anna frowns. “Then you tell her the truth. That he made a mistake. That he didn’t know how to stay. But that you did. You stayed. You always stayed.”
“It’s not just that,” I murmur. “It’s not just Nico.”
They both go quiet, waiting.
“I’m scared of letting someone else in again,” I admit. “Of trusting someone with my heart. Of trusting someone with Maya’s.”
Mari reaches for my hand, squeezing gently. “Of course, you’re scared. You’re a mom. You’ve been through hell and still show up every single day with love to give.”
Anna leans in, voice softer now. “But, Lyse…Mateo isn’t Nico.”
“I know that,” I whisper. “I do. It’s just—there’s something else.”
They both freeze, eyes locking in on mine.
“I need to tell you something. And I need you to not freak out.”
Mari raises a brow. “You know that’s never worked on us, right?”
Anna folds her arms. “Spill.”
I suck in a breath. “Mateo and I…we weren’t actually together when we first said we were.”
They blink. Simultaneously.
“We started out fake dating.”
Mari’s mouth drops open. “I’m sorry…what?”
Anna gasps. “Like a Hallmark movie fake dating?”
“Yes,” I groan, covering my face with my hands. “Like a damn rom-com. Nico came back. Mateo offered to help me keep him at arm’s length, and it just kind of…snowballed.”
Mari stares at me like I’ve grown a second head. “Wait, so that whole thing—pumpkin patch, Christmas mistletoe, movie nights—that was all fake?”
I shake my head. “No. That’s the thing. At first, it was just a favor. A setup. But somewhere along the line, it stopped feeling fake. It became…real. Too real. And that’s what scares me the most.”
