Page 63 of The List
“Wanna tell us the sexy details?” Lisa grins and sips her cocktail.
“Actually, no,” I say. “For once, I think I prefer to keep those private.”
“I’ll drink to that.” Missy lifts her glass and I follow suit, along with Lisa. We clink them together, sloshing a little liquid on the bedspread. Neither sister rushes to clean it up, which I find oddly touching.
Things are over with Simon. That much is clear. He may have lied about some things, but he never lied about what he wanted from me. Just sex. That’s what we agreed. I’m the one who went and deviated from the plan. I’m the one who thought we were building something bigger, getting to know each other in between all the sexy exploits.
It’s clear now that I never knew the man at all.
But at least I know my sisters a little better than before. That’s something. I take another sip of my drink and lean into Missy’s shoulder as Lisa puts an arm around me and squeezes.
Chapter 19
Simon
I’ve read the text message so many times in the last five days that the words are practically tattooed on the inside of my eyelids.
Hope you had fun at the beach. I’m ditching the rest of The List, so we don’t need to meet anymore, but thanks for your help. It was fun getting to know you!
I don’t know what stings more. The breezy, carefree tone, or those final words. It was fun getting to know you!
But she didn’t get to know me at all. Not the real me, anyway.
Sure, she knows what I’m like on a road trip to the mountains or an afternoon at a fancy spa. She knows what I’m like in bed, and that I prefer red wine to white.
But my family? My career? My life? I never let her in at all.
Which was on purpose, of course. There was no sense getting attached if we’d both agreed it was just a temporary thing for fun. I should be grateful she’s letting me off easy, cutting me loose before anyone gets attached or gets hurt.
It’s better this way.
That’s what I keep telling myself as I storm through my work week in a shitty mood. I’m grumpy and out-of-sorts, and I take to working alone at the headquarters so I won’t be a dick to any of my employees. I double up on gym time, hoping to burn off some of the self-loathing that’s eating at me. I take Junie to dinner and cross my fingers she doesn’t notice my lousy attitude.
By the time I drop her off, my cheeks hurt from forcing myself to smile.
“Why are you so sad, Simon?”
So much for that.
I lean against the porch railing of Junie’s group home, aware this is going to be a longer drop-off than I expected. “I’m just busy at work.”
She frowns. I can’t tell if she doesn’t believe me or if something else is puzzling about my response. “You need love.”
“Good idea.” I spread my arms wide and offer a half-hearted smile. “You can give me an extra-big hug, then.”
She laughs and gives my arm a playful swat. “Not that kind of love. The other kind.”
Junie gives me a meaningful look, and I try not to grimace. My sister has been known to watch soap operas on her days off, and last year she had a crush on a guy here at the residence. I’m pretty sure she knows more than I wish she did about other kinds of love.
“I have all the love I need,” I assure her. “You’ve got me covered.”
“I don’t think so. You’re sad.”
“I’m not,” I insist.
“You’re a very bad liar.”
Her words sting more than she means them to. My lies are what made this whole thing with Cassie so much worse.
