Page 101 of The Chaosweaver's Daughter
“For dinner,” she added dryly.
Kas smiled. “I’m going to talk now. I heard what you said, Nes, and I have quite a lot I need to say in response. Please, hear me out?”
She began to cut into her steak.
So far, so good.Kas took a healthy drink before he began, “When I first saw you, three symposiums ago, I was infatuated. You know this. I thought you were the most brilliant and beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Still do, in fact.” He took another sip.
“I never expected to see you again, Nes. I had no idea who you were or where you lived. It came as a huge shock when you turned up at Kirce. I didn’t bring it up because I was embarrassed, and there was never a good time before we got to Rohilavol ourselves. Once we were there, once I had the opportunity to travel with you and spend time with you, alone, that first time I saw you was, honestly, the furthest thing from my mind. Mainly. It was front and center while you were renaming your magic toazhelekezhi, but then we got distracted by the crowd and Isahn. And again, it was all I could think about when you wore the dress.”
She studied him, unblinking. “Why didn’t you bring it up then?”
“Because I didn’t want to ruin things. I hoped... to kiss you.”
“Only kiss?”
“Only kiss. I had to manage my expectations.”
Her lips pressed together in a quivering line as she repressed a smile.
“My initial infatuation with you is gone. It’s— Oh, no don’t look at me like that! It’s shifted. It’s changed. It’s been replaced and overwritten by far more ardent feelings,m’ekina.”
“Oh.”
He focused on the swirl of his red wine in its fragile glass. That final confession had been difficult on his nerves.
Nes shoved a bite of potato into her mouth.
I guess that means I should keep talking.Kas took a moment to shovel down a few bites of food and have another sip of his drink before he continued, “With the clothes, I’ve explained before, but I’m not sure I did a bang-up job. It was horribly selfish of me to present you with a wardrobe and not consider how it might make you feel, or the implications of a lavish gift, regardless of my intent. I understand now. Please, know it was nothing more than a gift. Beautiful things for a beautiful woman. No strings attached. I saw you had very few dresses, and I knew you deserved more. I have the means, so I bought them. It was a... lust-driven rational decision.”
She attempted to glower at him over her drink, but the transparent crystal did nothing to hide the smile that flashed on her face.
Gaining confidence, Kas took another few bites of food, then went on, “Nesrina, I don’t have expectations with you, but I have hopes. And all I’ve ever hoped for is a relationship—no ties to my gifts, no ties to your father, to your position as tutor, toanythingexcept you, as you. It’s a hope. A wish.”
She sighed. “And the clothing is the only thing you’ve secretly given me?”
He coughed.
“What else?”
“It’s not so much things I’ve given you, but”—he paused for a breath—“things I’ve done.”
She dropped her knife, her brows lifting to the ceiling.
He could see his chest rising and falling in his peripheral vision. Palms growing clammy around his fork, Kas forced himself to continue, “At the symposium—the first one—I may have done something...”
Nes eyed him in consternation.
“There was a young man—”
“Tavid.”
“Nithim, yes. Imayhave seen him pawing at you on the balcony, and Imayhave hit him with a gust of wind.”
Picking up her knife to point it at him she hissed, “That isfarbeyond the pale.”
Her glare lacked the intensity he’d expected, which bolstered him greatly. “I’m terribly sorry. I was completely out of line.”
“You were.” She sliced a piece of steak and chewed pensively while he took a moment to breathe and sip his wine.
