Page 66 of Hard Tail
“It’s nothing to worry about, honestly.” After I’d said it, I realised she might have a different point of view. “At least, I don’t think it is.”
“Tim, will you please justtellme?”
I glanced regretfully at my steaming coffee, swirling enticingly and tantalising me with its aroma, and put down my mug. Then I took a deep breath. “There’s a part of me I’ve been hiding. All this time.” I swallowed. Suddenly this didn’t seem so easy. “I’ll always think fondly of what we had. But I think you know, deep down, we were never really in love. Look, I realise this may be hard for you to accept—God knows, it was hard enough for me—but I’m, well, I’m gay.”
The world seemed to stand still for a moment. Kate stared at me, her mouth half-open, and my heart pounded uncomfortably as I waited for her to speak.
“Oh, thank God!”
Okay, that wasn’texactlywhat I’d been expecting. “You’re…pleased?”
“Of course—don’t you realise? I thought all this time it was me. I thought—God, I thought I’d failed to be a good enough wife; I left you because it wasn’t working and then Istillmade you mess up your life.” She gave me the soppiest smile I’d seen in years. “It all makes so much sense, now. I didn’t…I didn’t make you unhappy; you justcouldn’thave been happy with me.”
Guilt stabbed at me as I grabbed both her hands. “I didn’t…I had no idea you felt like that. God, I’m so sorry. It wasneveryour fault. It was mine, all along.”
“Rubbish! You can’t help being gay.”
“No, but I didn’t have to bury my head in the sand and hope it’d go away. I should have been more honest—with you, with myself. But I just kept thinking—God, I was stupid.” I shook my head. “I thought if I didn’tletmyself be gay, I wouldn’t be.”
“Oh, Tim.” She let go of my hands—and wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me tight.
I hissed, Wolverine-style, at the sudden pain in my bruised ribs.
Kate sprang back as if I’d electrified her. “I’m so sorry! God, how thoughtless of me. Does it hurt very much?”
“It’s all right—I’ll live.”
“Can I…see?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Any excuse to get my kit off, eh?”
Kate looked affronted. “As your legal advisor, I mean. I ought to know how badly you were injured.”
We shared a wry smile as I untucked my shirt from my jeans and lifted it up. Kate gave a sharp little intake of breath when she saw the bruising which, admittedly, had developed nicely since last night, from what little I could see without a mirror.
“Oh, Tim! Are there more like that?”
“No, no. That’s the worst. There’s some bruising to my forearms, obviously, where I was blocking his kicks.”
I’ve never known anyone as able as Kate to give the impression of tapping her foot without actually doing anything so rude as tapping her foot. Sighing, I pulled my shirt off altogether and held out my forearms for inspection.
I wasn’t quite prepared for her to pull out her phone and start snapping pictures. “For the private album?” I asked drily.
Kate tutted. “For evidence, obviously. Now, tell me—have you found someone? A man, I mean?”
I could feel my mouth stretching into a soppy smile. “Yes. Yes, I have. His name’s Matt, and he works at Jay’s shop, and he’s a really great guy. Actually, he’s here now—he wanted to give me time to explain things to you. I’d really like you to meet him—shall I give him a shout?”
Kate put away her phone and smiled a little tearily. “You should see your face right now… Yes—I’d love to meet him.”
“Matt!” I yelled up the stairs. “It’s safe to come down.” I couldn’t seem to shift the gormless grin.
“Oh, Tim—I’m so happy for you.” Kate sniffed, hugging me a lot more gently this time.
When Matt came warily downstairs, he gave my shirtless, embraced-by-my-not-quite-ex-wife state a pointed look. “Um,” he said. “Should I come back later? Or, you know, not at all?”
He let out a startled yelp as a tearstained Kate grabbed him and yanked him into the hug. “I’m so glad he’s found you.” She sniffled onto his shoulder.
I patted her back. “There, there.”
