Page 45 of Fool Me Twice
“Hey, fake it till you make it.”Zig was only half-joking.Wasn’t that what he was doing now?Acting like there was nothing wrong, while inside his heart was aching?
“Go on, then.Show us what you’ve got.”
Zig raised an eyebrow, then set to it.The new kegs were clearly marked and stored, he found, in date order, so it was easy to select the oldest.Shifting a full barrel of beer the few feet necessary was more about technique than muscle, and he could have done it in his sleep.With the new barrel in position, he flipped the valve controlling the gas supply to the empty, removed the coupler, checked the seals, coupled up the new keg, turned on the gas, and watched the chamber fill.Then he straightened.“We’re good.”
Finn nodded approvingly and patted Zig on the back.“Nice.First time I did one of these, I sprayed a couple of pints all down myself.”
“Hey, turns out I wasn’t lying about my experience after all.Right, we’d better get back before Ange sends out a search party.”
“Guess so.”Finn sounded disappointed for some reason.
Nah, that was crazy.Zig was imagining stuff.
At the end of the night, after they’d cleared up, Zig went out back to pick up his jacket and the shirt he’d changed out of.He’d have to do some laundry tomorrow; no way was he turning up to work in a polo shirt he’d sweated in all night.Pulling it off felt good for a moment, an acknowledgement work was done for the day.
Then reality dropped back on his shoulders like a yoke.What did the end of the working day mean, except time to think about how much Si didn’t want him?
“Nice.”
Finn’s voice jarred him out of his thoughts, and he spun.“What?”
“Just admiring your...tattoo.”Finn grinned slyly.“Want to come back to mine for a drink or something?”
“Uh...”Generally speaking, Zig was a lot smoother when someone tried to pick him up.But he was the sort of bone-deep tired that came from emotion, not exertion.“It’s a bit late.”
“Yep.That it is.Might have to head to bed soon.Reallysoon.”Finn winked.“So, how about it?”
For a wild moment, Zig was almost tempted.Si didn’t want him, and here at least was someone who did.Someone who’d hold him, touch him, the way he wanted Si to...
Christ, no.Bile rose at the thought.“Sorry, mate.I’m sort of taken.”Because he was, he realised.Even if the bloke who had his heart didn’t want it, and who could blame him?
Finn grunted through tight lips.“That hairy biker who was in last night?”His tone was resigned.
It was easier to go with that than to explain.“Yeah.We’re, uh, living together.”
“Thought you only got into town a few days ago?”
Zig laughed in a faintly hysterical way.“What can I say?I’m a fast mover.Nah, me and him, we go way back.Been picking up where we left off.”His stomach was hollow as the truth in it hit him like a gut punch.Yep: right back with Si deciding I ain’t worth the aggro.
“Okay.Well, if you change your mind...”
“You’ll be the first to know.”Zig mustered a cocky grin from fuck knew where, waved at Finn, and went to say goodnight to Ange.
Then he walked back to Si’s flat, feeling as cold and empty as the streets half an hour after closing time.
Si’s Saturday night had been, objectively speaking, a bit on the sad side.He’d stayed in.Watched a couple of episodes ofDoctor Whoon iPlayer.Realised he’d watched them out of sequence.Thought about cooking dinner but hadn’t been that hungry since they’d had lunch at three, so had made himself a slice of toast and marmite and called it a day.Thought about playing a game, but hadn’t been in the mood.
Had phoned his mum.
“Simon, love.I thought you’d be out.With that boy.”Her tone darkened several notches on the last bit.
“He’s working tonight.And it ain’t like, you know.He’s not my boyfriend.”Si’s heart clenched, because saying it out loud only rubbed it in.He could have been.
No.No, he couldn’t, cos what Si wanted from a boyfriend and what Zig wanted were two very different things.He had to remember how Zig had been when they’d broken up—it’d been water off a duck’s back, hadn’t it?
Except Zig never lets anyone see he’s hurt.
“Well, I can’t say I’m not glad to hear that.How long is he staying with you?”
