Page 48 of Fool Me Twice
At least here his luck was in.Kai greeted him with a smile, then a suspicious look.“You okay?You look like you came out in a hurry.”
Zig ran a self-conscious hand through his ungelled hair.“This mate I’m staying with—it got a bit awkward.”
Kai frowned.“Have they been telling you it’s time to move out?”
“Nah, fuck no.Not that it ain’t.”Zig dropped to his haunches beside Kai.He’d have sat down, but he didn’t have a sleeping bag and the ground looked fucking freezing.“Just, I thought me and him were...”He shook his head.“We went out yesterday.On his bike—fucking monster, that thing is; it’s well cool—and he was so...It was like it was a date, yeah?”
“But?”Kai prompted.
“Wasn’t, was it?He made that pretty clear in the end.”
“Bugger,” Kai said sympathetically.“He’s not, like, homophobic, is he?”
“He’s me ex, so no.”
“Doesn’t always follow.”
“Si’s not phobic about anyone.He’s a good bloke.The best.”Zig sighed.His kneecaps were slowly turning to ice.If he stayed crouched down too long, they’d probably snap when he tried to get up.He should probably care about that.
“That sucks.”
Zig gave them a look.
“Well, I mean, if he was a total shit, then you could feel good about not getting back together, couldn’t you?”
“Fair enough.”Zig had to laugh.“He deserves better than me anyway.”
“You seem all right to me.”
“Tell that to Si.Or rather, don’t bother cos he knows the truth about me.”
“But he still likes you as a mate?That’s something, innit?”
Zig nodded.“Yeah.Yeah, it is.But...I got me hopes up, you know?I mean, I didn’t know I was doing it, but when he...”
“Made it clear?”
“Yeah, that was when I realised how much I wanted it.Wanted him.And I don’t mean only sex, okay?”
“Do you love him?”
Icy shards pierced Zig’s battered heart.“Yeah.I do.”Funny how he’d known that, really, but putting it into words hurt so fucking much.
“Does he know that?”
Zig stood up, his frozen joints protesting.“Don’t think it matters.”
Si’s mum had made an occasion of lunch with wine at the table and proper coffee afterwards.Even a box of chocolates she’d got in the Secret Santa at work.It was a real shame Zig hadn’t been able to come.
Mum didn’t say word one about Zig once Si had explained he was working, so maybe Dad had been having a go at her again.Si found himself wanting to bring up the subject out of sheer perversity, but he wasn’t quite that daft.Instead, he talked about work, and family, and Mum’s Pilates classes.
It was a while before Si was able to leave for home.And okay, maybe he hadn’t fancied going back to the empty flat too soon anyway.When he finally left, Mum gave him a big hug and told him to take care with an emphasis that showed she hadn’t forgotten about Zig.Or maybe he was reading too much into it.
Would Zig be working the evening shift as well?Si wondered as he walked along the street, his comfortably full belly a contrast to the weird emptiness in his chest.He might only get to see Zig for an hour or so between shifts.Or not at all.It didn’t feel right, after yesterday.
Sage & Seer was still open when he got back—the shop closed at four on Sundays—but there were no customers at the mo, so Si popped in to see Esme.She was restocking the crystals.
“All right, Es?”
