Page 52 of Fool Me Twice
“Oh.”Of course he had.Si felt flat, like a pint of beer left out for a week.Then he frowned, honestly puzzled.“Don’t you fancy him, then?”
Zig laughed, but he didn’t sound happy, and he was back to staring at the ground.“He’s okay.Not really feeling like being with anyone right now.”
Si hated the way he sounded.Like his heart had been ripped out from the inside.He moved closer and took Zig gently by the shoulders.Under his hands, Zig’s body shook.“Zig?Tell me why you ain’t all right.”
Zig looked up again, and his darker eye gleamed.“Fucked up, didn’t I?Met this great bloke, but it turns out he’s not daft enough to want me back.”He shook his head.“I’ll move out.Soon as.Get out of your hair.”
Si’s chest was doing more of that weird stuff, and his ribs felt too tight.It almost sounded like Zig really cared about him.Had been crushed by Si’s implicit rejection yesterday afternoon.But that couldn’t be true, could it?“You don’t have to move out.I like having you around,” he added with a lopsided smile.
“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it.”
“Course I mean it.”Si struggled to get his thoughts in order, a desperate hope fizzing in his veins.“Zig, you know I like you.Always have.”Always will.“I don’t know what you want from me, though.”
“What I want?I want you.”Zig’s voice cracked on the last word, wrenching Si’s heart.
“What does that mean, though?You want to be, what, friends with benefits or something?”Si wasn’t sure he could survive that.
Zig didn’t answer immediately.Then he shook his head.“Sorry.I’m a greedy bastard.Always have been.I want everything.I want to sleep with you.Cook with you.Watch crap shows on Netflix with you.Christ, I even want to put up with your best mate looking daggers at me every time we meet if it means I can be with you.”
Si had once had a near miss when he was out on his bike and a container truck turned without signalling.Right now, he had a pretty good idea of how it would’ve felt if the truck had ploughed into him.“You mean, like...boyfriends?”
“I mean I love you.”It sounded despairing, which was all wrong, because Si was flooded with a heady, disbelieving surge of elation.
Ziglovedhim?“Why?”he blurted.
Zig sobbed out a laugh.“That.That’s why.It’s okay.I get it.I fucked up last time.You’ve got no reason to—” His voice cut off with anoofof breath as Si threw his arms around him and hugged him tight.
“I’ve got every reason,” Si said into Zig’s hair, his voice hoarse.He pulled back a bit and looked Zig in the eye.“You ain’t the boy you were six years ago.Nor am I.Reckon we’ve both grown up a bit.Changed for the better.Thing is, though...I loved that boy back then.No, wait,” he added quickly, cos Zig had started to pull away.“I ain’t finished.I loved you, yeah, but I couldn’t be with you.Not the way you thought in them days.But I reckon you’ve changed your mind about a few things since then.”
“Haven’t changed me mind about you,” Zig whispered.“You were always the one that got away.”
Si tightened his arms around Zig’s trembling frame.“I ain’t going nowhere,” he said softly, his heart singing.“Not this time.And I hope you ain’t, neither.”
Zig clung to him and then sobbed out a laugh.“Except maybe back to work.Pretty sure it’s been more than five minutes.”
“Ah, Ange’ll let you off,” Si said carelessly, light-headed over the amazing turn this evening had taken.“She’s an old romantic at heart.”
“Speak for yourself, lover-boy.”Ange’s voice cut through the still of the alleyway like a well-sharpened, but not unsympathetic, axe through firewood.“Zig?Everything sorted?”
Zig sniffed loudly and stepped back from Si.“Yeah.All sorted.”He turned to Si with a look of open wonder.“See you at home?”
Si nodded, then cursed.“I’d better go get Adam first, though.Or he’ll be accusing you of doing away with me.”
“I’ll send him out, love.”Ange sighed.“I can see I’ll get no work out of this one while you’re here.”
“One sec,” Zig blurted, then he seized Si’s face between his hands and kissed him.
Si melted.Zig tasted fresh like mint tea and warm like sunshine.His lips were soft, and after the first fierce grasp his hands were gentle.
Ange cleared her throat pointedly, and Si congealed again as Zig let go of him.“See ya,” he said with a crooked smile, and followed his boss back into the pub.
There was a tug in Si’s heart at the thought of leaving now, but Ange was probably right.If Si stayed, he’d spend the night leaning on the bar making googly eyes at Zig, which would probably be a bit distracting while he was trying to work.And Adam wouldn’t take too kindly to it, either.
The butterflies flitting around Si’s insides stuttered in midair.Oops.He was going to have to explain this to Adam.And with the thought, the man himself appeared.
He didn’t look happy.Although he didn’t lookunhappy, Si thought with relief.More sort of confused.
“Scratch?What the hell is going on?Are you and Zig together or not?”
