Page 34 of Dead & Dating
"I don't… I vaguely remember that," I say slowly, carefully picking through the fragments. "And you kept saying no. Why?"
Duske's expression shifts to something more serious, his black eyes meeting mine with an intensity that makes my breath catch. "Because you weren't fully conscious. I know you want us, there's no doubt in my mind about that, but I also wanted to hear you fully say it to me."
I push myself up to sitting, suddenly needing to be upright for this conversation. The blanket pools around my waist, exposing my torso. I'm still naked, my body marked with hickeys and bite marks, evidence of everything that happened during my heat scattered across my skin like a map. But I don't care about that right now, don't care about modesty or vulnerability. I need to understand what Duske is saying.
"What do you mean?" I ask, keeping my voice quiet.
Duske sits up too, mirroring my position, and his hand comes up to cup my cheek with surprising gentleness. "Bonding is very different than what you probably know with a bite in your shoulder. A demon's bond is more like a brand. It'll still be visible, and you'll be ours, but you will be fully tethered to us, Esme. There's no going back."
My heart pounds in my chest, beating so hard I can feel it in my throat. I stare at him, trying to read his expression. "Do you want to go back?"
Duske shakes his head immediately, his thumb brushing across my cheek in a tender gesture. "No, but I wanted you to make the decision consciously and not just in the throes of passion or out of necessity."
He pauses, and I watch as his expression grows heavier, weighted with something I can't quite name. "Esme, Lucifer gave us an out. He said he'll let you return to your human body if you wanted to, but we wouldn't be able to stay with you. If we bond you, you can never be human again. You would lose accessto the life you had before, and even though you could blend in wherever we move to, you wouldn't be human."
The weight of his words settles over me, pressing down on my chest. I could go back. I could be human again, alive and breathing and normal. Resume some version of my old life. But I wouldn't have them. I'd be alone, and they'd be gone, back to whatever realm they came from, and I'd be left with nothing but memories of what could have been.
I look at Duske, then shift my gaze to Milo and Vesper, who are both watching me with quiet intensity, waiting for my answer. These men, these demons, have become everything to me. They've seen me at my worst, at my most vulnerable, and they've stayed. They've loved me, protected me, chosen me when no one else did. Even before I died and we were justfriends,I knew that I wanted all of them.
And now they're giving me a choice.
But there’s really only one decision to make.
"Either way, I could never resume the life I had," I say, my voice coming out steady despite the emotions churning inside me. "Liora ruined all that. Give me you. That's all I want."
Duske's expression softens immediately, the tension in his shoulders easing, and he leans in to press a gentle kiss to my forehead. "It's not an immediate bond, but you will find it easier to stay here, I think."
I frown, tilting my head as I try to understand the mechanics of what he's describing. "Will I just show up wherever you guys are?"
Laughter fills the room, breaking the heavy tension that had settled over us. Duske shakes his head, amusement dancing in his dark eyes. "You shouldn't."
I feel a shudder run through me, a strange sensation like something is settling into place deep inside my chest. There's a tendril of darkness that wraps around my heart like a gentleembrace. And suddenly I can feel them. Not just their physical presence, but their emotions, their thoughts, the very essence of who they are flowing into me through invisible threads.
It's overwhelming and comforting all at once, like being filled up with something I didn't know I was missing.
I sigh, leaning back against Duske and letting him support my weight. "I can feel you. All of you."
Vesper shifts, moving closer until he's pressed against my side, and presses a kiss to my shoulder. "That's the bond starting to form. It'll take time to fully settle, but you'll always be able to find us now."
Milo's hand slides down to rest on my hip, his touch warm and grounding, anchoring me to this moment. "And we'll always be able to find you."
I close my eyes, letting the sensation wash over me like waves. I can feel Duske's steady calm, like the deep ocean. Vesper's chaotic energy, like electricity crackling beneath my skin. Milo's playful warmth, like sunlight. They're all there, intertwined with my own emotions, weaving together into something bigger than any of us alone. And it's perfect.
We settle back into the bed, becoming a tangle of limbs and warmth and contentment. Duske pulls me back against his chest, his arms wrapping around me securely, and Milo presses closer, his forehead resting against mine in an intimate gesture. Vesper curls around us, his presence a comforting weight that completes the circle.
For a long moment, we just lie there, soaking in the intimacy of the moment without words. Until of course, Milo ruins it. "Are you ready to attend your funeral?" Milo asks, and despite the heavy subject, there's humor tingeing his words.
I snort. "No, but I am ready for Liora to go away."
I pause, feeling my expression grow more serious as I think about what needs to happen. "Can you just promise me thatbefore you do what you're going to do to Liora, I just need to talk to her one more time? I need her to say all those fucking things to my face."
Duske's arms tighten around me, and through the bond I can feel his hesitation warring with his desire to give me what I want. "I can promise that, but if she tries anything, that's it."
I nod, understanding the condition he's placing on this promise. "I'm already dead. There's not much else she can do."
Chapter 22
Vesper
