Page 28 of One Step Behind
‘What’s wrong?’ Beth asks, throwing a glance behind her.
‘Nothing, nothing at all,’ I say too breathlessly, too panicked. ‘We’re just late. I don’t want you to miss the start of the party.’
I have to get my children inside and away from you. The thought races through my head over and over until we rush through the doors of the trampoline park and I find myself peering out through the glass, searching for you.
My heart is still pounding as we step past a brightly coloured reception area. I’d give anything to be at home with Beth and Archie and Stuart right now. The doors locked, all of us safe.
Inside, the place is an explosion of colour and noise. The heat in here is formidable and hits me like a shove that sends a nausea tumbling into my stomach. Loud music, screams and shouts bounce off the metal walls. I stare out over the trampolines. At least fifty kids and some adults are jumping from one trampoline to another, others are bouncing themselves into a pit of squishy foam blocks. There’s a cafe to one side that overlooks the jumpers. The place is cramped with sweaty-faced parents and another horde of children hanging impatiently over the barriers, waiting for their slot.
Beth gives a little yelp, jumping up and down before sprinting across the cafe to her friends.
‘Stop, Beth,’ I call out, but she doesn’t hear me.
I push myself in between two tables so fast a bottle of lemonade knocks to the floor. Someone tuts and I throw them an apologetic smile. I can’t let Beth out of my sight.
At the far end of the cafe there’s a group of girlshanging around a table with presents and gift bags piled on it. Stuart is right about the t-shirts. Apart from one girl, who is wearing a Manchester United football kit, the rest are in leggings and cropped t-shirts, just like Beth.
‘Jenna, hi,’ Rachel shouts over the noise, waving a manicured hand in the air.
‘Hey,’ I try to smile. The music is so loud. Every beat of it feels like a punch to the side of my head. I look down to Archie by my side, then back to Beth.
‘I’m so pleased Beth and Archie could make it.’ Her smile is wide, but she keeps looking behind me, like she’s waiting for someone else. The rest of the kids for the party, I guess.
‘Archie,’ a boy calls out, appearing from underneath the gift table. I look down and watch Archie grin from ear to ear and scurry towards the boy.
‘Don’t go where I can’t see you,’ I shout.
‘There’s no need to stay,’ Rachel says. She steps closer and I catch the scent of her sweet perfume. ‘It’s a drop-off party. The party host will be here in a minute and they’ll take them off to jump. And I’ll be here the whole time.’
‘Oh. I thought I’d stay.’
‘Really?’ Rachel laughs. ‘I wouldn’t be sat here if I didn’t have to be. You’re welcome to, of course, but there’s no need. They’re perfectly safe here.’
‘It’s not that,’ I lie. It is exactly that. You’re out there. I felt you watching me in the car park. My children aren’t safe. Even as the thought presses down on me, another is rising up. How can you be out there when you’re in hospital?
I feel torn. I don’t want to leave Beth and Archie, and yet how can I protect them like this? I have togo to the hospital and check you’re still there, then I’ll know we’re safe.
‘I promise I’ll watch them like a hawk,’ Rachel adds.
‘Um … OK, thanks,’ I find myself saying.
‘No problem at all. Pick-up time is four. Here, let’s swap numbers and then I can let you know if there’s a problem.’
We type in each other’s numbers and then Rachel spins away, throwing herself into a conversation with another parent who’s just arrived.
‘Beth,’ I call, waiting for her to untangle herself from her friends. ‘Will you be OK if I pop out to the shops? I’ll be back soon.’
‘Yeah, fine.’ She nods distractedly and is already moving back to her friends.
Archie is more than happy to wave me off too, but I don’t go. Instead I linger at the edge of the cafe and watch a teenager with a clipboard talk to the children.
The logical part of my brain knows that you’re in hospital and that what I felt outside is a hang-up from the months of torture you’ve put me through, but until I’ve seen you lying in a coma with my own eyes, there’s no way I’ll be able to feel that Beth and Archie are safe.
With a final glance to the party, I turn away and head for the exit. I can be at the hospital in fifteen minutes, and back here again in less than an hour.
I’m walking across the car park when I spot Christie and Niamh. Christie looks different today. Her brown hair is sitting over her shoulders in light curls and there’s a splash of gloss on her lips. I only see her when she’s on the school run and looking after other people’s kids; I forget how pretty she is.
‘Hi,’ we say at the same time. My eyes travel around the car park. Did something just move over by my car?
