Page 62 of One Step Behind
‘Why don’t you get him some help, then? Take him to a shrink if he’s got problems.’ Sophie sighs, biting at one of her fingernails. She knows she’s lost. There is no way her mum is going to change her mind about the disco. Her life is over.
‘He does have help. He goes to a counsellor every week. He has done for many years now.’
‘Has he?’
Her mum nods.
Something clicks in Sophie’s head. All those speech therapy sessions her mum took Matthew to when he was younger that Sophie never questioned. Except now Sophie thinks about it, why did Matthew even need them? He’s always been quiet, but when he does speak there’s no lisp or anything.
‘Although, I’ve got to say,’ her mum continues, ‘the camera Trevor gave him has been the best therapy I’ve seen. Matthew is really taking an interest in the world around him now he’s taking photos.’
Sophie thinks of the things Matthew burns in his room when her mum is at work. Last week Sophie caught him burning some of the photos he’d taken. When she’d asked, Matthew had said they weren’tgood enough, but they all looked the same to Sophie. She wonders what her mum would think about Matthew if she knew the truth.
‘I know it’s hard being your age,’ her mum says, taking Sophie’s hand again. ‘I promise you, it will get easier. I’m never going to stop loving you or being here for you and Matthew.’
Sophie sinks into her mum’s embrace and wishes things were easier now.
Chapter 34
Thursday, 20 June
Jenna
My mobile rings first thing, just as Stuart and I are in the middle of a whispered fight. It started with Stuart forgetting to put the dishwasher on last night and has mutated into something else entirely, so I ignore my phone and let it buzz unanswered on the worktop.
‘Just take a damn sleeping pill, Jenna. You can’t go on like this.’
‘It won’t help,’ I hiss back, shoving a bowl into the already full dishwasher. ‘If you ever listened to me, you’d know that.’ I step to the doorway and shout upstairs. ‘Beth, Archie, we’re leaving in five minutes. Don’t forget to brush your teeth.’
‘You need to sleep,’ Stuart says again. ‘You stay up all night watching TV and then pump yourself with caffeine. I just don’t get it! The harassment is over. The police know who this guy is, and the moment he’s well enough, they’ll arrest him. You need to let it go now.’
‘Let it go, right, because it’s that easy. Why didn’t Ithink of that?’ Sarcasm drips from my voice as I slam the dishwasher shut. ‘And it’s not over.’ I can’t believe Stuart is being so relaxed about this. It was the same last night when I showed him the email you sent.
‘You can’t let one email rattle you like this. He can’t get to you now.’
It’s more than the email. It’s the way you grabbed me in intensive care, it’s the look of hate in your eyes, it’s an entire wall of photos in your bedroom, but I can’t tell Stuart any of that, I can’t admit that I’ve been to your house. He wouldn’t understand.
‘Life would be so much easier if I could pretend that everything is happy and wonderful all of the time, like you do, but I can’t. I’m not built that way. I need to know what’s going on and I won’t feel safe until I have answers.’ A lump digs in my throat and when my phone starts ringing again, I spin away from Stuart and answer it. ‘Hello?’
‘Jenna, it’s DS Church. Are you available this morning for me to pop round? I have an update on your case I’d like to discuss.’
My stomach flips. Does she know I was at your house? Has she been there too? Has she seen your bedroom? ‘What is it?’
‘I’d prefer to talk about it in person. I can be with you in twenty minutes.’
I hear myself agree and say a cheery goodbye, and all the while the panic is crowding me and I’m sure she’s going to tell me they’re dropping the case and it’s all my fault for snooping in your bag and going to your house.
‘It must be good news,’ Stuart says. He gives an eager smile, our argument forgotten, and I fight the urge to roll my eyes like Beth.
‘She said she had an update on the case,’ I reply, gritting my teeth and running a cloth over the breakfast counter. Any gleam from my spring clean has disappeared. ‘She didn’t say whether it was good or bad.’
‘I’ll drop the kids to school and pop back,’ Stuart says. ‘Billy can keep the site going for an hour this morning for me.’
‘Thanks, but I’ll do it. You go to work. I’ll call you and let you know what she says.’
‘I’m doing it,’ he replies, shouting for the kids to get a move on before I can argue any more.
‘Fine then,’ I snap, regretting my tone the moment it’s out. It’s not Stuart’s fault that I’m freaking out about seeing DS Church, and it’s not his fault that I’m desperate to do the school run so I can see Rachel. I tried to call her again last night, but each time it went straight to voicemail. I don’t care if she’s had an affair with you. I don’t care if she’s sleeping with half of Westbury, I have to find out what she knows about you.
