Page 81 of One Step Behind
Then my gaze drifts and I spot Rachel, watching me with narrowed eyes, and a few other mums from the school I sort of recognize.
‘Oh hi,’ I call with as much cheer as I can muster. ‘Of all the pubs, eh? I’m just out for birthday drinks with a friend.’ I lift the tray as if backing up my story with evidence.I’m not following you, I want to shout at Rachel.
For a split second I wonder if I should try to talk to her now, but I squash the thought back down. It’s too loud in here, and by the look on her face, she’s morelikely to tip her drink over my head than listen to anything I have to say.
‘Are you having a good night?’ Christie asks, fidgeting a little as though she’s not sure where to stand.
‘Yes, thanks. I’d better get these over to my friends. Have a good night.’ My eyes pull back to Rachel and we stare at each other for a long moment before Christie steps aside and I move through them.
‘What took you so long?’ Diya asks.
‘I hung around hoping for a better offer, but it looks like I’m stuck with you lot tonight,’ I reply, handing her the wine bottle. The group laugh and I’m grateful they do. I can still feel the mums watching me. There are dozens of bars in Westbury. This isn’t even the nicest one or trendiest, and yet here they are.
I perch on the edge of the booth and pretend I’m listening to Diya and Thomas talk about work. I’ve been away from the hospital for less than a week, but already I feel out of touch.
My gaze is desperate to move back to Rachel and the group. I’m on my second gin and tonic when I can’t bear it any more and look for her. For a moment I think they’ve gone. The bar is quieter now as the drinkers move on to the seafront clubs. But then I spot them at a table in the far corner. Rachel has her back to me and I try not to stare at the strands of sleek blonde hair that fall over her shoulders.
It takes me a moment to realize that the woman I recognize sitting beside Rachel isn’t one of the school mums, but Sophie. Your sister, Sophie.
Her grey-blonde hair looks silver in the light of the bar and is tied up in a high ponytail. She’s deep in conversation with Rachel and it’s obvious they knoweach other. But how? Rachel said she’d never heard of you, and yet she clearly knows Sophie.
‘What do you say, Jenna?’ Thomas’s voice breaks into my thoughts.
‘Huh? Sorry, I was miles away.’
‘We were just arguing over which is worse to have land on your shoes – vomit or shit? In fact, don’t answer that. How the hell did we get to talking about this?’ He looks at Diya who falls into drunken giggles.
‘Are you OK about taking the time off?’ Thomas asks me then, his expression serious.
‘I guess so. The hardest part is knowing someone went behind my back and complained about me to Nancy. I just don’t get it. What was I doing? And why didn’t they speak to me first about it? This is my career. My whole life. We’ve all worked so hard to get to where we are, and to put my job at risk …’ My voice trails off. I’m looking at Diya as I’m speaking and the sudden panic widening her eyes makes something click in my head.
‘It was you?’ I say, taking a sharp breath in.
‘We’ve all been worried about you, Jenna,’ Thomas says.
My fingers curl into two fists and I say nothing as I wait Diya out. She wouldn’t, I tell myself. She’s my best friend. She wouldn’t do this, and yet the guilt on her face says it all.
‘You haven’t been yourself,’ Diya says in a voice so low it’s hard to hear.
‘So you thought you’d tell our boss and have me put on leave?’ I snap, anger buzzing inside my head.
‘It wasn’t like that. Nancy asked me outright how I thought you were coping at work and I had to give her an honest answer.’
I stand up suddenly and catch Rachel and the other mums staring at me, but right now I don’t care. ‘And was that based on your professional opinion or on the things I told you because I thought we were friends?’
I push my way outside, past the huddle of smokers and into the muggy night. My pulse is racing. I can’t believe this. Diya’s betrayal stings worse than I could ever have imagined. I trusted her, and now she’s turned around and used it all against me.
‘Jenna, wait?’
I spin around to find Thomas jogging towards me. ‘Diya wanted to come out but I told her I would talk to you. Let me walk you home.’
‘No need. I’m a big girl.’ I stride ahead, alcohol building a confidence I know could shatter any second.
‘Please. I want to. I think you’re …’ His Yorkshire accent sounds suddenly thicker as his sentence trails off. He looks at me with a sheepish expression that makes me want to groan inside. ‘I think you’re amazing. After everything that’s happened to you, you’re still the best doctor I know. You know, if you ever want to grab a drink some time, just us, we could …’
I cringe and do nothing to hide it from him. Is Thomas really trying to ask me out? Here, now, when I’m clearly pissed off, not to mention married with kids. ‘Go back inside, Thomas,’ I snap, adding a force to my voice that he can’t ignore before dashing across the road to the taxi rank and diving into the first car I see.
But as the taxi pulls away, it’s not Diya I find myself stewing over, it’s Rachel and Sophie and the fact that they know each other. What does it mean? How are they connected to what you’ve been doing to me?
