Page 58 of My Revenant
“He told me he wouldn’t. Never again.”
Becca didn’t seem convinced, and I couldn’t blame her, not when I didn’t even understand why I believed him.
“Well, I hope for his sake he doesn’t.” She sighed before letting her arms untangle, and she reached for a fry, the tension between us fading further. “Also, stop fucking avoiding me. Just because you have a boyfriend now doesn’t mean you’re allowed to forget about me, your bestest friend and onetruelove. Okay?”
“Okay,” I said, releasing whatever tightness remained in my chest and throat. I reached for the milkshake, taking a long sip—
“The sex is good, then?” Bee asked, and I almost coughed it all back up. With a smile, she handed me a napkin.
I coughed and wiped my mouth, feeling my cheeks flame with a new sort of embarrassment. “I haven’t—wehaven’t… done…that.”
“Anal?”
My skin prickled from the sudden heat as I nodded.
“But you want to?”
It was all I’d been able to fantasize about lately, but it still felt too big, too intimidating. Dex hadn’t tried to pressure me into it like I almost wished he would, rather he seemed perfectly content in continuing to just do what we’d already been doing. I was starting to think he’d be satisfied even if that was all we ever did.
I nodded again. I knew I should talk about it with him instead, but Becca felt like the safer option, maybe because she was separate from it. I couldn’t say or do anything to fuck it up with her. “I don’t… know how.”
“You’ve watched porn, though, right?”
“Yeah, but doing it is different. What if I get it wrong?”
Bee’s smile was warm as she placed her hand over mine. “Oh, my sweet innocent bestie. That man should feel incredibly grateful for any part of you he gets. Besides, I think he knows exactly what to do and would be more than happy to show you.” She winked.
I hated the thought that Dex knew what to do because he’d already done it with other people. What if they were better at it than me? What if I disappointed him?
I didn’t even know what “role” he’d want me to take. In my fantasies, it was always him over me, inside me. But is that what he’d want too? I groaned, pushing my milkshake to the side and smacking my head down on the table, hiding myself there.
Talking about sex with Becca didn’t bother me exactly; it was a little uncomfortable but only because it was new. It was helpful, though, and if there was anyone I could trust not to judge me, it was her. She was the most sex-positive and judgment-free person I’d ever known. Maybe she could help me with something else too. Something I’d been thinking about for a while but couldn’t bring myself to do alone. I sat up slowly.
“Would you… come with me to… Maxxxine’s?”
The outside of Maxxxine’s Treasure Trove was all black and incredibly intimidating. I’d walked past it once last week, but I couldn’t bring myself to go inside. It wasn’t like I had the money tobuy anything anyway, but I was so curious about what was within those walls.
Becca’s arm hooked through mine as she pulled me fearlessly toward the entrance. She’d been delighted when I’d asked her to come to the sex store with me; however, I was already having my regrets.
Despite my hesitation, Becca soldiered on, dragging me right along with her until she pushed open the doors and my eyes were assaulted with the bright fluorescent lighting from inside. Why the fuck did they make it so bright in here?
My heart thundered in my chest as we walked in. It was still pretty early in the day, so thankfully there weren’t many other people here. The shop assistant didn’t even look up from the counter she was leaning on, her eyes glued to her phone instead of her new customers.
“Alrighty, what are we looking for? Dildo? Butt plugs? Maybe something sexy to wear?” Becca questioned, and I wished she’d keep her voice down.
“I don’t know,” I whispered back harshly.
“Well, let’s start here and see what catches your interest,” she answered just as loudly, as she pulled me into the first aisle.
My stomach twisted with nerves as I took it all in. The wall was covered in so many brightly colored plastic dildos, all so well lit upthere might as well have been a spotlight on them. Some of them were normal shaped and sized, others definitely not. I didn’t know so much variety existed, and seeing it all made this somehow more intimidating rather than less.
Becca let go of my arm to touch things, and I immediately felt exposed without her. Remaining close, I followed her lead, reaching for one of the less intimidating toys. Apart from being pink and sparkly, it seemed relatively normal—a safe option. It wasn’t as thick as him, though. I put it back.
I looked at a few more before a “psst” caught my attention, and I turned to see Becca holding up a very alien-looking… thing. She wiggled her eyebrows at me before pressing a button, and the thing buzzed to life, the middle of it contracting and extending in a thrusting motion while the bumps on the top of it rotated.
“Absolutely not.”
“You’re no fun.” Becca pouted, turning the thing off and putting it back on the shelf.
