Page 8 of My Revenant
Dad hadn’t called me in all those years I’d lived with her and Richard. Not once. He’d just let us go. Letmego. Either he didn’t care enough about his kid or he hadn’t wanted me anymore. I didn’t care which one it was. He was a father in name only, and my being here now that Mom had decided I didn’t fit her lifestyle anymore didn’t change that.
We were strangers connected by blood. Nothing more.
“Earth to JJ,” a voice said as a fry hit the side of my face. I scowled, and Bee laughed. She’d been rambling on about something again, and I’d zoned out rather than listen. I did that fairly often, but she only noticed sometimes. “What were you thinking about?”
“Nothing,” I sighed, stealing her milkshake and taking a big sip. She always offered to buy me one, and food, and I always refused.
I didn’t need her to pay for shit like I was some charity case. Didn’t mean I wouldn’t take some of hers, though. She hadn’t drunk any of it yet, and had barely touched her fries. I was starting to think she just pretended to buy them for herself because she knew I would steal them off her. As long as neither of us verbally acknowledged it, I’d let that slide.
“Anyway… I was saying…” she continued, and I zoned out again immediately.
Her hair was always so perfectly straight and such a bright neon orange that it made my eyes hurt if we were in the sunlight. It wasn’t so bad here in the back of the diner, though. The pleather seats were an equally offensive red, but everything else was monochrome or checkered in an aesthetic I couldn’t imagine had ever actually looked nice.
Her eyes were an amber color, a couple of shades lighter than mine, and decorated in all sorts of bright colors each day. Today’s eyeshadow was green. Lighter in the center and darker in the outer corners, paired with thick black eyeliner and lashes that seemed far too dramatic for spending the day at the diner with me. How long did she spend getting ready each day? It seemed exhausting to me. I barely even brushed my hair in the mornings.
Becca was always so animated when she spoke—long pointy nails sliced through the air with her hand gestures, and three sets of gold hoop earrings jingled together every time she moved her head. She was pretty, I guess.
I wasn’t attracted to her, though. I wasn’t attracted to anybody. Never had been.
Maybe I was asexual, but I still had urges, and I took care of them on my own. I just never liked the look of anyone enough to want them likethat. Didn’t like porn much either. I’d tried it, but it just felt so boring.
“Jonah.” Bee’s voice held that quality of exasperation that indicated that hadn’t been the first time she’d said my name.
“Do asexual people jerk off?” I asked.
She blinked at me and simply stared for a long moment before sighing and going with it. “Asexuality is a spectrum. It would depend on the person. Some do and some don’t. Doesn’t mean they’re not still ace. Why?”
I shrugged. I’d been on my own for so long I wasn’t used to filtering out which thoughts were for speaking out loud and which weren’t. Becca never judged me for anything I said, though.
“Do you think you’re ace?”
I shrugged again.
“Well, you don’t have to know. But if you are, and you want to talk about that, we can. Ace, gay, bi, demi, monogamous or polyamorous, any combination of any sexualities…shit, even”—she pulled a face—“straight.” She said the word like it left a bitter taste in her mouth. “You’re still my bestie, and you can talk to me about it.”
I hummed my acknowledgment and stole more of her fries.
Bee was bisexual, or pansexual, or something. At least I assumed she was when she told me she’d hooked up with both men and women. I didn’t question it, because I didn’t care.
It was late afternoon now, the last of the sunlight falling in through the front window in golden rays that splashed over the gaudy decor, bathing the near-empty diner in a final wave of warmth.
There weren’t many people here—too late for lunch and too early for dinner. It was quiet. That’s why we picked this time to come. So when the doors opened, and a barrage of loud voices and laughter filled the diner, itreallypissed me off.
Two figures stumbled in first; they were laughing like fucking morons. One of them had the other in a headlock while he laughed, and shouted, and tugged at his clothing in an attempt to break free. I hated them immediately.
And thenhewalked in.
And all I could think was that he was beautiful.
five
Jonah - Past
I STARED. HE STARED. WE STARED.
The obnoxious laughter faded to nothing. Cutlery clanked against porcelain. Spoons tapped against the sides of mugs. There was a low rumble of voices from the few patrons in the diner. It all faded into the distance as I witnessed him.
He trailed in after the idiots, and his aura poured out of him like the golden afternoon rays through the window. He was his own energy source, as bright and as brilliant as the sun.
