Page 135 of My Revenant
Confusion. Recognition. Understanding. Rage.
“Youfucking—”
“It should have been you.” Words spoken from somewhere deep inside, a direct tether from the darkest corners of my soul to my lips. “You who died. Everyone would have been better off if it had been you.”
She shrieked as she charged at me. I closed the door.
I heard the rattle of the handle. The door didn’t budge, betraying her as it had betrayed me. Sealing her in with the growing flames. Her words of rage morphed—desperation, pleading, and screaming. Then silence.
Smoke filled my vision as it bled out from under the door. A tendril danced in front of my face before billowing toward the exit.
I left her phone on the table in the hallway, and when I left the house for the last time, I locked the door with my secrets inside to burn along with her body.
By the time I made it back to the car, the flames had taken the whole house, the glow and stench of fire lighting up the night sky and half of Meadow Park.
Then I heard the sirens. Time to go.
I expected to feel something, some noticeable difference from taking a life, perhaps some sort of invisible weight I’d have to carry with me always. I didn’t. I was calm.
My rage was usually so loud, so destructive, explosive and uncontrollable. This had been different. This time it had a purpose. A destination. A shape I could understand. A form I could use. And now it was done, and I could let it go, finding comfort in the knowledge that it had protected him. That she could never hurt him again.
Roy’s home was dark when I returned, Dex’s bike still missing from the driveway.
I expected the old mechanic had gone to bed already, leaving the front door unlocked for us to return. I was proven wrong whenI bumped into Roy leaving the bathroom on my way back to the guest room. He looked me over slowly.
Then he leaned in, and I held my breath.
“Smell of smoke tends to linger in clothes and hair.” He spoke low, and fear sparked in my gut. “Use the green soap.”
Then he brushed past me, walked down the hall, and closed himself in his room.
I rushed to take his advice, whatever adrenaline still fueled me washing away under the scalding stream. That calmness was fading, the beast that lent me its strength receding because it was no longer needed. I wanted to crash, to sink to my knees and wait for the water to wash away my sins. But if I was still here when Dex came home, then he’d know. He’d see it on me.
I wanted to be a safe place for him always, so he could never know what my hands were capable of. He could never know that I’d killed the monster that called itself his mother.
forty-nine
Dex - Past
REAPER.
Jonah’s car was already in the driveway when I pulled in and killed Delilah’s engine. I hoped he had actually taken the chance to see Becca and hadn’t lied to me just so I wouldn’t feel guilty about leaving him. He hadn’t tried to call or text me while I’d been gone, and I was almost disappointed by that. I liked when he was needy. It made me feel wanted.
Inside, it was quiet and dark. I went straight for the guest room,our roomfor the foreseeable future, and found the lights already off. The low light through the window from a distant streetlamp outlined the shape of Jonah beneath the covers on the bed. My home.
I stripped off quietly, unsure if he was already sleeping and secretly hoping he wasn’t as I slid in beside him. This bed was softer than mine, and far more spacious, but I still slotted my body along his like we were magnets.
Jonah was tense, his breathing a little fast. A few lingering kisses over the curve of his neck and he melted back into me. His hair was damp, and he smelled like apples. I much preferred when he smelled like me.
“Did you keep your bandages dry when you showered?” I whispered, knowing he was awake, even if he seemed intent on pretending otherwise.
He nodded, pushing back against me.
“Are you okay, baby?”
There was a long pause before he answered me. “Yes.”
“It’s okay if you’re not. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Just… be honest with me?”
