Page 139 of My Revenant
It was the right thing to do. I had to. I was protecting us. She’d deserved it.All things I told myself over and over. I’d believed those whispers from the demons under my skin last night when I’d done it. It was harder to believe them in the daylight.
New fears. New panic. What if Dex found out? What if he hated me for it?
My mind raced at a speed my feet couldn’t keep up with. The stabbing ache in my leg was amplified by the ache in my head. It was too late now. My decision burned into my soul like the fire that had erased hers.
I pushed onward, until the itching from my self-inflicted wounds proved to be the final straw, and I screamed my frustration, my rage, and my anger to the world, not caring who the fuck heard me or what the fuck they thought.
Lost. Adrift. Unmoored. A storm of emotions that I couldn’t face, not alone. I needed him. And maybe I didn’t deserve to be comforted after what I’d done, but I needed him anyway. Needed the only person my demons would listen to. Only he could calm them again.
It was time to go back.
I turned around, heading to my home, to my devil.
There were two extra motorcycles in the driveway when I returned. New emotions joined the storm. Because of course they needed him again.
I didn’t want anyone but him to see me, so I entered quietly, intent on sneaking off to the bedroom to wait for him to be done.
Then I heard him scream. An awful sound I’d never heard before, but I knew in my bones it was him. My demons rose to the surface, and I let them lead me.
Toby was the first thing I saw. Then the blood. Dex on the ground. Reaper over him. A bloodied knife near my feet.
Red.
Toby noticed me. “Reaper.”
The knife was in my hand before I could process the situation. Thoughts evaded me. There was only red.Red. Red. Red.
“Reaper!”
The knife plunged into Reaper’s back. Again. Again.Red. Red. Red.
He fell. I ripped him away from my devil. Again. He wasn’t moving anymore. I didn’t stop. Over and over. Until I couldn’t see. Red in my eyes. I wiped it away. Rage still bubbled away like acid at my core. Not enough. He still wasn’t safe.
I turned to Toby. Tears streamed down his pale cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Reaper said we were going to talk. We were just supposed to talk. He said to back him up if things got violent, but I didn’t think—I didn’t know—I’m sor—”
Red.
“Rabbit.” A voice that almost reached me. Not quite.
A sob. A choked cry. More red. New blood on the blade.
“Rabbit. Stop!”
The wet squelch of the knife as it impaled an unmoving body again and again.So much red.
“Jonah!” A hand on my shoulder, pulling me back. Eyes the color of an overcast sky through the clouds. Soft.
“D-Dex?”
“I’ve got you. It’s okay. You can stop now. We’re okay.”
My fingers trembled around the handle of the knife, then released it.
The demons shrank back inside me, and I looked down at the body… No. Bodies. Two. I’d killed two more people. Ice in my core. Fuck.
Too much.Everything was too fucking much.
“I can’t do this.” My thoughts poured out of me without filter. “I can’t fucking do this.”
