Page 144 of My Revenant
It’s why when I’d seen him slowing down I’d sent Harper to him. Because I needed to see him without giving him the chance to reject me. I’d sent Harper to change out the tracker so I wouldn’t lose him if Jonah wanted to keep going, but I’d also asked him to test Jonah. To befriend him. To see if he was still loyal to me. To get a glimpse into the man I’d get back no matter what. But also so that I’d know how long to wait. So I’d know when it was safe for me to give my heart to him again.
Harper didn’t have the chance to report back until after Jonah had discovered who he really was. As soon as he’d told me everything, I was there.
Now that I had him, I had tofindhim again. I had to bring him back to himself. He was in pieces at my feet, and he needed me to put them back together. I would. I always would.
He sobbed. Arms wrapped around my legs. Tears soaked into my jeans.
There was so much we needed to talk about, but it wasn’t the time for that. Now it was time to pick up his pieces and carry them home. “I’m here, baby.”
He sobbed harder. Loud, guttural sobs from some place deep inside him. I attempted to take a step back, but he only clung to me tighter.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I assured him, but he still didn’t want to let go.
Letting my cane drop to the ground, I pulled at his arms until I eased his hold enough to sit down. Without prompting, he was on me again, crawling into my lap. His arms wrapped around me, his wet face buried into my neck.
My hand smoothed over his back, and through the fabric I could feel the ridges of his spine. Heat rose inside me. His tears beckoned my own. Jonah’s pain called out to me, and mine to him.Both demanded to be seen, to be soothed, to be released. It wasn’t needed anymore. Because we finally had each other again.
“I’m sorry,” he cried into my skin. “I’m so sorry.”
I knew he was. Knew he had been all this time, but he was scared, and he hadn’t known what else to do. My tears fell… for him, for myself, for the time we’d lost together and the mistakes we’d both made.
“Sorry,” he repeated over and over, his voice hitching with his sobs. I held him tighter.
We cried until the pain eased. Until it was freed. Leaving us empty and ready to fill its place with comfort. Only comfort from now on.
“Will you come with me?” I whispered, long after we’d fallen silent.
Jonah nodded, finally ready to allow a sliver of space between us again. He stood and reached for my cane before I had the chance to. New tears welled in his eyes as he stared at it.
“Hey.” I smoothed them away with my thumb. “I’m okay.”
A wet sniff as he nodded.
In silence, we collected his things from his car and took them to my truck. In silence, we drove to the closest town, and I paid for a room. In silence, we entered it, shed our clothing, and showered together.
Jonah cried again as I washed him, my fingertips learning the ways his body had changed. Then he washed me and cried even harder, his fingers lingering over the jagged scar on my forearm, on my thigh, at my side, on my back. They trailed higher, so gentle as they parted the short curls of my hair, seeking the scar he feared the most. The one that hurt him far more than me. I let him take his time to meet it properly so he could let go of the fear.
“I’m so sorry,” he sobbed.
“I know, Rabbit.” The truth.
“It was an accident.”
“I know.”
I turned slowly to face him, and his body stiffened as our eyes met again. He still wasn’t in them, his fire extinguished. I needed to bring it back.
After shutting off the water, I reached for a towel, drying him and then myself before taking his hand and leading him back to the bed. Short distances without the cane were manageable, if uncomfortable, but with Jonah’s hand in mine it was the best I had felt all year.
We slipped under the covers, his body against mine for the first time in so long. Another wound healed.
“Where have you been?” he asked me, voice tired.
My fingers tucked a long strand of damp hair behind his ear. It wasn’t an easy story for me to tell, and it wouldn’t be easy for him to hear. But there had been enough secrets between us. Enough distance. Jonah deserved answers.
“After you left.” My throat caught on the word, and I cleared it, composing myself before I continued. “And Roy found me, he called Bryce. Bryce called Bull, and Bull did the rest. He was a doctor once, and he saved me. I was asleep for a long time, Rabbit. And then I wasn’t. When I woke up, I couldn’t move much. Talking was difficult for a while, and I had to learn how to walk again.”
Tears flowed freely, a damp circle forming under his face on the pillow.
