Page 40 of My Revenant
“Hey.” My attention snapped from the bed to Dex. He was sitting on the edge, his legs spread wide, hands extended behind him casually, like he did this kind of thing all the time.Maybe he does. The thought sat in my gut like a stone. “You okay over there?”
I nodded. “Fine.”
“Mhmm, so why don’t you come over here, then?”
It was a good question, a perfectly acceptable question. Why else would I have followed him up here if it wasn’t for… whatever this was? Fuck, I didn’t even know what he was expecting to happen here. “No.”
“No?”
“No.”
“Okay?” he said, extending the word out as if he was waiting for me to elaborate on that. I didn’t want to elaborate on that. He sighed before standing and coming over to me. My eyes found his boots—black, dusty, scuffed, with thick soles that probably gave him an extra inch of height. “Jonah.”
Hearing my name was a shock. NotRabbit, notCity Boy, butJonah. My eyes snapped up to find his, searching, looking for answers to a question we both knew but hadn’t voiced. A question I wasn’t sure I wanted him to find an answer to.
“I hate you,” I blurted.
“Okay,” was his response. As simple as that. He didn’t seem offended, or surprised, or angry. Justokay.
“I do.”
“I believe you.”
“Well, good. As long as you know.”
The corner of his lip pulled up in a smile. “Did you follow me up here just to tell me you hate me?”
“No.”
“Then why did you follow me, Rabbit?”
I grunted.
“Answer me.”
“No.”
He stepped in closer, and I backed up to get away from him, until my back was against the wall. I could have gone for the door, but I didn’t. I let myself get trapped by him. Again. Dex gripped my chin between his thumb and finger, tilting my head up to look at him. He was gentle, and I wished he wasn’t. This soft touch left me with too much ability to think. I didn’t want to think. I wanted whatever had happened in the diner, when he took control of the situation, ofme. Why did he have to be gentle? Why did he have to look at me now like he cared?
“Talk to me,” he demanded, but even that sounded soft.
“No.”
His eye twitched, and I could tell he was trying to keep himself composed. I wished he wouldn’t.
“Do you want me, Jonah?”
“No.”
“Then why are we here?”
“Because!” I snapped, growing more frustrated. How was I supposed to vocalize my thoughts? They made no sense to me. They weren’t normal. They were twisted and unknown, too big and too deep inside me. I didn’t know how to get them out, but like a beast thrashing in a cage, they demanded release. Demanded him.
Dex sighed, keeping eye contact with me for a long time, trying to read me.See it. See me. Don’t make me tell you. I willed it, pushing the thoughts through air heavy with tension. Heavy withus.
“You look pretty tonight,” he said, releasing my chin and taking a step back. Resignation passed over his face, and with it more panic,twisted desire, and regret swirled inside me. He turned toward the door. I pushed him because I didn’t know what else to do.
“God fucking damn it, Jonah!” he snapped.Finally. He shoved me back until I slammed against the wall.Yes. That was it. “What the fuck is your problem?”
