Page 60 of My Revenant
Harper was a lot more distraught about it, telling me about all the expensive clothes he wouldn’t be able to replace, but there was no way I was letting us risk his safety by going back for them.
It meant starting all over again.
Harper, thankfully, had an obscene amount of cash in his wallet, and we’d used it to buy ourselves just enough of a wardrobe to getby—none of it designer, much to his dismay. It was also why we were sharing rooms, so we could make it last as long as possible.
We didn’t stay anywhere for more than a night before we were on the road again.
I’d traded my Taurus for an even shittier and incredibly hideous red Pontiac Aztek. I fucking hated the thing, but it was functional enough for us to keep moving.
This motel was a little nicer than the usual ones we stopped at. It had been refurbished at some point in the last decade, and I was hopeful I’d hear less of Harper’s complaining because of it.
He still hadn’t opened up to me about what really happened that day back in Hollow Creek, in the time between him running out of the bar and when I’d finally found him. He’d been quiet for the rest of that day and the next before he returned to his usual self, but whenever I attempted to broach the subject, he’d quickly shut it down or start talking about something else.
I could understand that. At the very least, he didn’t seem to be seriously injured beyond a few scratches and scrapes on his otherwise perfect skin.
I still hadn’t opened up to him about my past either, and he no longer pushed me to. We just bonded over the secrets we refused to share but still recognized in each other. Different but the same.
“Can we stay here for a bit longer?” Harper asked, throwing his bag on one of the two single beds and collapsing down after it. “I’m fucking tired, Jack. My back wasn’t made for sitting in that shitty car so much. At least the Audi had heated seats.”
“The Audi you stole from your ex?” I asked, because yes, I’d confirmed that Harper had in fact gone on the run from Benny in his fucking stolen car.
Harper rolled his eyes at me. “Yeah, ’cause my custom-painted Bugatti Mistral would have been soinconspicuous.”
As if those had been the only two options for him to choose from. I’d grown protective of the guy, but fuck did I want to smack some sense into him sometimes. Without his money, I seriously doubted Harper would have made it very far in life. He had almost no survival skills, so there was no way in hell I was going to let him go off on his own. Without me, it’d be all too easy for Benny to catch up to him again.
I dumped my bag on the bed and made my way over to the window, parting the curtains to check what was visible outside. Even this late at night, it was a busier road than Hollow Creek had at any time. The parking lot was half filled, the Aztek in clear view, and neon signs lit up old buildings across the road: a liquor store, a convenience store, and “Garden of Eden,” which I assumed was some kind of sex shop from the signage and posters in the windows. No security cameras that I could see.
It had been over a week now, and I’d chosen our destinations randomly, sometimes not even picking where we were stopping until we ended up somewhere decent enough. This place was slightly bigger and busier than where I usually chose to stay, but enough time and distance had passed that Benny couldn’t have been on our tail anymore.
“We can stay for a couple of days, but then we have to keep moving.”
“Ugh, fiiiiine,” Harper groaned.
It had been a long time since I’d had to think about anyone other than myself. Before Harper, I’d been getting tired. Slowing down. But now that I had his safety to look after as well, I had a new purpose. I was still tired, but now it wasn’t just me. I wasn’t alone.
“It’s time to stop running… It’s time to stop now. I know you’re tired of it. It’s okay to stop.”Unwelcome whispers of a ghost. False security even more now than it had been back then. It wasn’t timeto stop. Not ever. Still, his words circled my mind like a physical thing. He was an ache I’d never be free of.
“It won’t end well. Not for you.”Becca had been so right, only she wouldn’t get to tell me“I told you so.”I wouldn’t get her involved in any of this. Running protected both of us.“We’ll figure out how to hide his body together,”she had said. If only she’d known then what the future held, I’m sure she would never have said it.
“What are you thinking about so hard over there?” Harper asked, and I finally pulled away from the window, drawing the curtains shut.
“If you knew this was where you’d end up, would you still have gotten involved with him?” I asked. It was the question I’d been asking myself since that day. The one I still couldn’t answer.
“Benny?” he asked, and I nodded. Harper thought about that, pale eyes staring up at the ceiling like it held the answers for him. “Yeah,” he said eventually, turning to look back at me again. “I would. No matter what happened, I don’t think I could have made any other choices.”
“You really wouldn’t have stayed away from him?” I asked as I came to sit down on my bed, beside his, uncertain how he could be so sure of it all. Then again, he hadn’t done the things that I had done.
Harper shook his head softly. “I wouldn’t give it up—the good times. He loved me more than anyone ever had. Without him, I never would have been able to experience that, you know?”
I knew. “And you still love him?”
This time he didn’t take as long to think about his answer. “I do.”
His answers didn’t satisfy me, though. Maybe nothing ever would.
“What about you?” he asked after I’d been silent for a while. “Do you still love whoever you’re running from?”
“It doesn’t matter.” I stood to my feet again. “Love isn’t always enough. Sometimes it’s the entire problem.”
