Page 25 of Vathia
I tilt my head, debating on telling her, but instead I say, “I think the others would like to be here for that conversation. Talyn should be here by the start of the next moon cycle.”
She sighs but nods her head, going back to her book.
Placing my hands on the table, I go to get up but her voice stops me. “You can stay… If you want. I think I’ve missed your company.”
To my shock, I sit back down in my seat, wanting—no, needing—to stay near her. Maybe it’s the bond that pulses between us. That's something else we need to talk to her about: that her four friends from fledgling-hood are fated to be hers for eternity.
We sit in silence as she reads. The book I grabbed from her stack seems to be for more decorative purposes, as I can’t seem to pull my gaze from her. There’s always been this pull with her, but with my aversion to touch, I don’t think I could ever be what she truly needs. But I can watch her, and so I do.
It grows late into the night, and nothing but the flick of pages and our shallow breaths fill the air. I should leave and stop staring at her like a desperate male, but I can’t.
Suddenly a loud crack sounds, and the chair under me gives way.
“Killian!” Ravina yells and I hear her run around the table to me. She falls to her knees beside me and places her hand on my chest.
I wait for the pain to come, but it doesn’t. Her touch doesn’t make me angry or want to hurl my guts up. My breath stills in my chest as I watch her in a new light. With hope.
“Are you okay?” she asks me, and all I can do is nod.
With slow movements, I sit up, unbothered by the broken bits of wood beneath me. She’s perched on her knees and even so, she’s so much smaller than me. Her face is only a small gap away and we are frozen in time. My heart pounds in my chest, something that I thought was long dead for anything resembling romance, but this bond pushes me closer to her, and I can’t help but want to follow its lead. To press my lips against hers. To feel her body under mine.
I lean closer and I can feel her breath caress my face. Feeling the heat of her body so close to me makes me feel wild, volatile.
Our lips meet softly and it’s like everything stops and speeds up at the same time. My hands find their way to her face, cupping her cheeks as I deepen our kiss. She wraps her arms around my neck and I pull her on top of me, savouring every curve of her body. My tongue brushes the crease of her lip and her flavour bursts into my mouth, like the smell of the grass after a storm, subtle and sweet. A groan escapes my lips and her soft sigh goes straight to my cock, which she pushes herself against.
I freeze, pulling away, my chest heaving with what I’ve just done.
We touched and I didn’t lose myself to the rage below my skin, but it incites another fear in me—hope. Hope that this wasn’t just a one-off. My heartbeat gets louder and I can see she’s trying to say something to me as she runs her fingers across my cheek. As carefully as I can, I move her off me before jumping to my feet and running from the library. Even though the memory of her lips is seared into my mind, the panic is too much. I touched her and I loved it, but that will have to be the only time I let that happen. I can’t risk hurting her—never her.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
AFEW WEEKS HAVE PASSED by and I’ve almost stopped being able to smell the salty air of the sea and the abundance of flowers Amethyst keeps around the castle. Except for after a storm when the scents become more pronounced. It’s comforting.
What’s not so comforting is that Killian and Aemon are still avoiding me outside of training, which frustrates me to shit. Amethyst still isn’t back from wherever she went, and I can’t stop thinking about the kisses I’ve shared with Jesper and Killian. Neither of them have touched me again, but as the days go by, I want them to. More than anything. I find myself dreaming about their lips across my skin and my body tingles just thinking about it.
Jesper said he would wait for me to be ready, but am I? I have too many questions and not enough answers for the feelings I have that seem to be developing at an unprecedented rate. Mel is firmly on the kissing train; meanwhile, Ember thinks I should be more cautious until we have more information. Especially with this weird mark that showed up and how my body craves to be in the same vicinity as those three males. It’s unusual, and lately I’ve even noticed another pull that seems so far away. For now, with no better answer, I’m putting these strange sensations down to stress.
“You don’t need reasons to kiss someone, Rav. You just need to like them enough to give kissing a chance. I’m sure everything will work itself out. Now, are we going to get out of bed? Breakfast will be soon and I’m hungry,” Nero whines.
“You have a point,” I mumble. “Since Kill is avoiding me still, maybe I’ll talk to Jesper? Is that strange? ‘Hey Jesper, remember that time you kissed me? Yeah? Well I would like to do it again. You know, for experimental purposes.’ What are weeven experimenting with again?” I rub my forehead. Why is this so hard?
Nero hops onto my chest and peers down at me. “To see if you like them? I don’t know. To broaden your horizons with the male and female experience that can apparently happen horizontally and vertically. Your species can do the nasty so many different kinds of ways it almost makes a bird jealous.”
I choke on my own saliva as I push him off me and slide out of bed. “I didn’t need to know that Nero,” I laugh as I start my morning routine.
“It got you out of bed, didn’t it? Now let’s go before I wither away to dust from starvation.”
My snort erupts into a fit of laughter. “The window is always open; you can hunt or scavenge whenever you want. You’re by no means starving, you spoiled bird.”
He gasps.“Spoiled? I’m no such thing! Spoiled would be so many eyeballs I couldn’t carry them all,”he adds with a suggestive tilt of his head which I ignore.
Nero lands on my shoulder after I’m dressed and ready to go. We’ll eat breakfast and then go down to the Keep to take Vasari out for a flight. I’ve been borrowing a saddle for her, but it doesn’t fit right, which makes flying harder than it needs to be. Jesper took our measurements about two weeks ago to give to the leatherworker and saddler, so hopefully that comes in soon. My mind wanders off to Jesper’s warm hands between my thighs as he used the measuring tape…
I shake my head. No. None of those thoughts before breakfast. That was a completely innocent interaction.
With my mind in shambles, I open my door and head off down the hall for food and a day full of training with males that give me mixed signals. Am I insane for being interested in them all? I mean, it was tradition for the Queen to take four consorts back when there used to be fated mates, which hascontinued into present time. But I’m not Queen. Just a lost, fractured princess who’s trying to find her way home, and get some revenge while she’s at it.
Everyone but Aemon is already here, which seems to be the norm. He tends to arrive as we’re finishing up and leaving. I just wish I knew what his problem was. He was so determined when he first took me from Phixmery. It’s just another reason to add to the list of why these males are confusing. It hurts my heart thinking that these are the males I was so close to growing up, but now they are avoiding me like a plague. Well, except for Jesper.
