Page 48 of Vathia
“I thought I might find you here,” Killian mumbles as he slides his massive frame into the booth across from me.
I swig back a sip before slamming the mug on the table, the golden liquid sloshing up the edges. “What are you doing here, Kill?”
He leans back, assessing me with his blood-red eyes, his face stoic and covered in the scars of his past. We sit in silence staring at each other, and the way his gaze pierces mine makes me feel naked, exposed.
“Jesper got into the bastard’s mind,” he states casually, pausing.
My knuckles crack with my impatience. “And?”
“It was a dead end. The being was cloaked and he didn’t recognize the voice. All he could tell was that it was someone from Allondë.”
My eyes close as I try to keep my composure. “Fucking great,” I mumble under my breath.
Killian continues, “Aemon is upping the security around the castle and one of us will be watching her at all times. She won’t be going anywhere alone. She’s going to hate that.”
A dry, emotionless chuckle escapes me. “You know that won’t go down well.”
He grunts in agreement as a barmaid places an ale in front of him before scurrying off. We sit in silence, listening to the ruckus of the tavern. Laughter and horrid music rings out around us as the night goes on and the patrons get more intoxicated.
The comfortable silence between us breaks as he asks a question that I knew was eventually coming. “Why are you being such an ass to Ravina? I thought you of all fae would be happy with this turn of events. She’s alive and we are her mates. It’s like something out of a story,” he grumbles softly, like if he speaks too loudly I’ll leave.
My heart clenches and my teeth grind together painfully.
“She deserves someone better than me. I couldn’t protect her then, I couldn’t protect her now. Fucking fates, I can’t even protect my fucking self.”
His brow draws together. “You were a fledgling when all that happened. And if you’re talking about when your father took you a couple years ago—”
“I’m not talking about that,” I snap. Fates, I want to tell him what happened this past month. Out of everyone, he would be the one to understand, but my shame stops me. Disgusted with myself, I chug back my ale and toss a few coins on the table before storming from the establishment.
Killian curses and follows me out. “Talk to me Talyn,” he growls as we leave the small town’s boundary. It’s just some small village about an hour’s flight from Kraryn.
I spin on him. “What does it matter, Kill? She won’t want me—I’m fucking damaged after what happened,” I admit, the words slipping before I can stop them.
His eye twitches as he pieces something together. “Did something happen with your fucking father again? What in the void did he do to you?”
My lips seal together in a firm line, as I continue out of the village to where I left Zaddro when we arrived here.
Killian grabs my shoulder, giving me a firm shove. “You want to be angry? Be angry. But don’t take that shit back to Ravina. You need to fight it out of your system?” He spreads his arms, looking more serious than I’ve seen him in awhile. “Then let’s go right now.”
It’s all the invitation I need before I pull air to me, striking him hard enough to make him stumble back. I keep going, throwing everything I’ve got at him. With another burst of air, I lean down and summon earth, knocking him completely off his feet. It doesn’t keep him down long. He jumps back up and charges at me.
He cocks his fist at my face and I narrowly dodge it as his knuckles graze my cheek; I know it’s going to leave a mark. We exchange blows, neither of us getting the upper hand as we use our magick and our fists.
Just as I start to tire, he gets me in a headlock, restraining my arms so I can’t use my magick. Panic overcomes me and I feel like I’m back there, tied to the bed with Evera poised over me with flames in her hands as she melts my mate mark from my body, leaving it mangled and grotesque.
In a sense of uncontrolled urgency, I slam my head back, cracking against his chin. “Let me fucking go,” I bellow.
His arms drop from around me and I feel like I can breathe again. Tears run silently down my face as I try to force myself out of my own mind.
Killian’s voice comes out more gentle than I could have expected. “What happened, Tal?”
I shake my head but the words spill out anyway. Broken bits of what happened after he left, told between gasping breaths and tears. He listens silently, but his gaze darkens with every word.
When I finish, I feel raw and exposed. “I’m disgusting, and she won’t want me after she finds out what happened. Pieces of my memory aren’t there. I’m weak. Who in the fucking fates wants a weak male?”
He doesn’t speak yet, causing my anxiety to ramp up. After a moment he takes a step towards me and very cautiously places a hand on my shoulder. It’s monumental—the shock of him willingly touching someone when not in a fight almost knocks me out of my stupor.
His gaze isn’t full of pity, but understanding, and somehow that helps settle something within me. “You forget. Our female would never judge you for something like that. Remember her reactions when any of our fathers harmed us as fledglings?” I nod. “She would burn the realm down for us. Just like we would for her. Being an asshole and pulling away will only drive a wedge between you. Talk to her. I’m sure she will surprise you.”
