Page 82 of Vathia
She scoffs. “You can come in. I’m not going on a walk with you because you might throw me off the cliff into the ocean, and I don’t fancy a swim right now.” She holds the door open and I walk in, heading to the small sitting area near the balcony and taking a seat on the deep blue wingback chair. My armor clanks and I wince. Maybe I should have changed into my leathers, but I have a feeling if I went back to my room, I wouldn’t have found the courage to come here tonight.
Ravina, on the other hand, looks gorgeous, even if she’s in her nightwear. She and Aemon would have arrived early this morning. She took off after she yelled at me, and Aemon followed because Evisdor is the only dragon in our wing that can keep up with her. So at least we both have had time to gather our thoughts. Thoughts that now threaten to frazzle all over again.
She comes up behind the matching chair across from me and rests her arms on it, keeping her guard up. Her brow arches. “Why are you here, Talyn? It’s getting late and I’m tired.”
“I owe you apologies and an explanation,” I state, watching as her gaze widens and then narrows, and she crosses her arms against her chest as if to protect herself.
“I think at the bare minimum yes, you do owe me those things, because I have done nothing to deserve this path of destruction you put us on.”
I nod in agreement, rubbing my hands against my armor. “I’m not sure where to start. I’m not used to talking like this, but I know I can’t treat you like this anymore. It’s hurting both of us and our group.”
She watches me for a moment and then her eyes glaze over like she’s communicating with someone before she huffs out a sigh and sits in the chair across from me. “Maybe start at the beginning?” she suggests. “You were a different male when we were younger. Even at Phixmery you were distant and a bit harsh, but ever since you arrived here… I don’t even recognize the fledgling I grew up with like I could with the others…”
We sit in silence for a moment while I gather my thoughts. “Your death was the catalyst that started it. You were this precious female who was bossy, funny, kind and generous, and even back then I wanted to protect you from the realm. I was much more innocent then with regards to how everything worked, but I knew my father was not a kind male. After you were gone, he killed my mother. She was very sick and not in her right mind, but he was done taking care of her, or at least that’s what he told me. His idea of how females should behave and their purpose is sickening, and I did my best to protect Cynder. But if I paid too much attention to her, or tried to teach her ‘male activities’ like training or sword fighting, we would both pay the consequences.”
She gasps and I see her hand raise towards me before pulling it back. I give her a small smile—I’m not sure if it’s to comfort me or to comfort her, but I continue.
“So I pulled away. Did tasks for him to keep him away from Cynder. She was relatively safe as long as she was kept locked away. At least, until things started going south at Phixmery and we made the move to get her out. Anyway, five years ago, Jesper overheard his father talking about plans to take over Damorleia with the other Lords and officially wipe Vathia off the map, since Aemon’s dad had become useless. It got gears turning, and everything the others and I had heard over the years began to come together like a sick and twisted puzzle. We still don’t know the reason for why our fathers didthis, or why the dragons are becoming brainwashed, but I know it all stems from my father alone. I’ve had to… do things… to keep the others safe.”
My eyes squeeze shut as memory after memory tries to push its way to the front. The innocents I’ve had to kill to prove to my father I was on his side. The engagement to Evera… what happened after we found our mate.
I swallow thickly. “I’m a broken male, Ravina. My father made some sort of deal with Evera’s father and I was supposed to mate her. Of course I was never going to willingly agree to it, and that was even before we found you and our bond began to form. But after The Choosing, my father drugged me and had taken me back to his estate…”
“Talyn…” she whispers and I shake my head.
“Just let me get through this. I don’t want your pity, I just need you to understand why I’ve been pushing you away.”
She goes to open her mouth but bites down on her lip with grim determination. I look away from her to the sea, unable to tell her this next part while watching her expression fill with disgust. “I woke up strapped to the bed with iron cuffs. My father wanted to make sure I didn’t find some other excuse to escape the mating with Evera.” I chuckle dryly. “They made a whole ceremony out of it. Stripped me bare and tried to force a mate bond. It didn’t work though because fate already gave me to you… Fate gave you this broken male who doesn’t know how to love anyone without anger.”
Small, soft hands grab my face, and what shocks me are the anger and tears. No pity. No disgust.
“You arenotbroken, Talyn. You fell into the fire and came out the other side reforged and stronger. Fuck them. And I’m going to kill that female when I see her next,” she hisses, her words soaked in venom. “How dare she try to take what’s mine.”
The possessiveness in her voice lights something inside of me but I’m not done… She still needs to know about her bond mark.
“Sit Princess, I’m not done yet.” My voice is hoarse with emotion and she nods, taking a seat, but even through our unfinished bond I can almost sense that uncontrolled rage boiling right under the surface. “Our fathers came to an agreement that didn’t require Evera and I to be officially mated to have a fledgling. My father needed an heir and had chosen Evera for this. I think he knew I was going to flip sides and was planning to kill me once the infant was born. So, she tried to burn our mate mark off before she—” I choke on the words, unable to say them. My fists clench the chair and a snap echoes around the room as the armrests crack apart in my hand.
“I understand if you banish me from your side for letting me get myself into that situation. Nothing happened, and I’ve never been so glad for my cock to not work, but I’m disgusted with myself. I’m sorry for treating you how I did. I thought it would be easier to push you away—”
She covers my mouth with her hand. Her face reminds me of an angry storm before it decimates everything in its path. “You are not disgusting and you have done nothing wrong. Am I pissed that you treated me like less than shit on the bottom of your boot? You bet your sorry ass I am. Do I understand why now? Yes and I hold nothing against you, but I want that bitch’s head on a pike.” She moves her hand off my mouth and uses the pad of her thumb to brush a tear away that I didn’t realize had fallen. Her voice lowers and quivers slightly, something that she used to do when she was younger when she was trying to be strong and brave. “She burned our mate mark?”
I nod, moving her to the side wordlessly while I begin undoing my armor. Each clunk of metal lands on the ground like a finality. I just don’t know whether it will have a good ending ornot. But I know I’ll deserve it if it ends badly. I haven’t looked at my scar since that initial day after escaping. But she deserves to see that I am truly broken. Some part of me hopes that seeing the destruction, the absence of any sign of our bond, will push her away and I won’t accidentally hurt her with my toxicity. But the selfish part hopes she sees past it and I don’t need to live the rest of my life pining for this amazing female. A female to whom, if she truly forgives me, I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for my behavior.
As the last piece of amour hits the ground, I lift my shirt and hear her gasp. Unable to help it, I wince, and I just know she can’t stand the idea of her mate mark on me being so disfigured. I’m a disgrace.
A cold hand runs down the center of the scar before stopping above my navel, and she spreads her fingers. “Talyn look at me,” she commands. Then, when I don’t, she repeats: “Look at me.”
I hold my breath as I glance down at the small, angry female before me.
“Scars don’t make you less beautiful. They don’t change you at your core.” A shadow of emotion crosses her face that I don’t completely understand. “You didn’t intend to have this happen to you. But I will need my revenge. Evera is a dead fae walking, and so is your father. They are disgusting beings. You are mine. Do you understand, Talyn Craven? You don’t get to run away from me and lash out because you don’t see your own worth.” She takes another breath to calm herself. “Can I hug you?”
My heart feels like it comes back to life as I see her vulnerability at asking that simple question, like she’s waiting for me to lash out and storm off again. I nod and pull her close to me, inhaling her stormy scent. Maybe Killian was right. Maybe Ravina will be our salvation in this messed up realm.
It’s now I promise myself to never take my anger out on her again. I will be a better male even if it kills me in the end. That even though this weight has lifted off my chest, there’s this slinking presence in my mind that won’t leave. I hug her tighter—I need to protect her from whatever is to come because I know this war is going to get worse.
I pull back slightly and see tears in her eyes. “Please don’t cry, Princess.”
A dry laugh leaves her lips as I wipe away the stray tears. “I’m not crying because I’m sad. I mean I am, but this is all anger. I’m okay though. Thank you for sharing that with me. I know it was hard.”
