Page 131 of Firstborn of the Sun
‘I can tell you now, this girl isn’t worth saving,’ Milúà seethed.
‘Who –’ He couldn’t finish the sentence, or he did not want to.
‘Tell him, or I will,’ Milúà shouted.
‘It was an accident,’ L’?r? said, her voice choked with tears.
Alawani moved closer to her, and she stepped back. The silence grew between them, and when Alawani tried to move closer to her again, she blurted out, ‘Command. I killed Command.’
The words were a weight lifted off her, easing her heart for a moment before letting in the flood of grief and guilt. L’?r? held her eyes shut and when she opened them, the tears fell.
‘It was an accident. I promise. I tried to save her.’ She turned on Milúà. ‘She was supposed to save her!’
‘You knew she was beyond saving the minute you filled her with that curse in your veins,’ Milúà spat back.
Alawani looked down at her hands, and she could see that confusion turned to dread and then something she could not recognize. Finally, he said, ‘You killed Command?’
‘It was an accident,’ L’?r? said, taking a step closer to him.
‘She loved you.’
‘It was an accident,’ L’?r? said again, taking another step closer, her voice pleading with him.
‘She was like our mother.’ Alawani moved out of her reach, tears brimming in his bloodshot eyes.
‘I’m sorry,’ L’?r? begged, shaking her hands, desperately trying to turn off the light in her palms. ‘I swear to you, Alawani, I’d never – you know me – it was an accident.’
‘You can’t control these powers,’ Alawani said, his voice firm yet full of pain.
From the corner of her eye, L’?r? saw Milúà smiling.
Alawani waited for her to say something, but there was nothing more to say. Itwasan accident. He should understand that, and the fact that he didn’t get that made her angry even as guilt and shame threatened to bury her alive.
‘How?’ he asked.
‘Does it matter?’ Milúà scowled. ‘Command is dead. A frozen body lost to the mud of Ìlú-Idán.’
Alawani swung his head in L’?r?’s direction. ‘Since then? Since Ìlú-Idán? You’ve had every opportunity to tell me.’ He moved in closer to her, close enough that she could feel his breath. ‘Last night, in the dungeons. We spent nearly a day in silence. You –’ His voice broke. ‘Why do we keep doing this to each other? Why is there always a secret, something you can’t trust me with? And now this. In the name of all that burns, L’?r?, what have you done?’
‘Command was trying to take me back,’ L’?r? said, tears streaming down her face. ‘I just wanted to get away.’
‘Then why would you kill the only woman who ever treated you like a daughter and leave her body in the streets?’
‘I don’t know how many times I have to tell you. It was an accident!’
‘Her story didn’t add up to me either,’ Milúà added.
L’?r? sneered at her, but the maiden glared right back at her.
‘I’m guessing she didn’t tell you the woman’s last words either. The à?írí she refused to leave this world with.’
‘You hold her dying secrets?’ Alawani asked L’?r?.
‘I’ll tell you what she said,’ Milúà started.
‘Curse the sun! This has nothing to do with you!’ L’?r? shouted at her.
‘Command said that your father, the king, was murdered,’ Milúà blurted out.
