Page 73 of Firstborn of the Sun
‘No,’ Alawani said. ‘I won’t hurt you again.’
He was talking about his powers. But that treacherous little heart took it to mean more, and she let it.
‘I’ve always wanted agbára in the same way you have it. Now I have this, I’m terrified and I don’t know what to do with it. What I’d do to have nothing at all again.’
He frowned. ‘But … you didn’t ever have nothing. I saw you use the blades Baba-Ìtàn gave you. I’ve seen you wield agbára oru in those blades better than most soldiers I know.’
‘Old magic,’ she said quietly, shame filling her voice as she spoke.
‘What?’
‘Baba-Ìtàn taught me how to use my blades when I startedtraining at Gbàgede. The power is in the blades and the words, not in me.’
‘Old magic,’ Alawani said, shocked. ‘That’s so reckless. Anyone could’ve caught you. My goodness, they’d have chopped off your head.’
‘It was better than not having anything at all. You don’t know what it was like to be the only one beneath the sun to have no agbára,’ L’?r? said. She felt the edge in her voice and the anger she’d forced down threatening to spark up again. She took a deep breath. ‘I just don’t want to hurt anyone. I want to control this without hurting myself, either.’
L’?r? folded up her sleeves and revealed her arm. Streaks of black lines ran the length of her forearms. Again.
‘What happened?’ Alawani asked in shock, moving closer.
‘I feel it all the time. Ever since the temple, I feel it buzzing beneath my skin, just waiting for the slightest trigger. It hurts keeping it down, and I’m always trying to keep it down. These appeared at the temple; they disappeared for a while and returned last night. I’m scared, Alawani.’
Alawani raised her hand to his eye level and softly rubbed against the marks. He shook his head. ‘I only know how to use agbára oru – but I can try to teach you that, in case it helps. What did Baba-Ìtàn teach you?’
L’?r? shook her head, ‘Nothing. He taught me a few lines of old magic and that’s it. Tell me everything.’
Alawani smiled. ‘Well, the first thing we teach children is that agbára oru is the magic of the sun, and there are so many incredible things we can do with it. We all try to explore them but the most important thing to remember is, don’t push too far. In the days of the First Sun when people first got agbára from the gods, they were reckless with this gift. Every other person died from the burn because they kept burning out their cores exploring new ways to use their agbára.’
L’?r?’s heart ached at how little she knew about these powers she’d been desperate for all her life. She’d have asked him about this much earlier if she hadn’t been terrified of exposing herself. After all, these are all things people learn from their parents but if her last conversation with Baba-Ìtàn was anything to go by, he was proud of his decision to keep everything agbára-related from her. Surely knowing the history of the world she was forced to live in would have helped prepare her more than anything else but it was too late for what should or could have been now. She had to carve out her own path now. Starting with understanding this magic of the gods.
She lifted her gaze, ‘I’ve seen you do crazy things with your agbára. Aren’t you afraid of the burn?’
Alawani shook his head. ‘The closer you are to a sovereign, the less likely you are to get the burn.’ He paused, then said, ‘As agbára flows from parent to child, it generally weakens through time except for the royal lines. Which is why everyone of royal blood is encouraged to marry a commoner. I mean, you’ve seen my sister train, and she’s much older, yet her agbára is remarkable. She’s married to a common man from the fourth ring, and their children are just a bit less powerful than she is, and that access to power that they got from my father will last many generations. Since every new sovereign is from a different family line, there are more opportunities for power to spread out more evenly in the kingdom. However, if there are any families in Oru that have not had anyone of royal blood mix with their line since the days of the First Sun, then their children will only be able to do basic things. People limited by their heritage in that way will surely burn out their cores the first time they try to do something that requires intense powers.’
‘Command must be of royal blood. I’ve never seen anyone else do the things she does,’ L’?r? said.
‘Exactly. She is,’ Alawani nodded. ‘But even without great powers, people can still do really cool things like manipulate heat and light. They can make flames hotter or snuff them out, some people can control how the flames move, and even the smoke. Or transfer heat from their bodies to an object. And some people, although very few, can heat up another person, burning them – in rare cases, without even touching them. But that doesn’t come easy. That kind of agbára lies with the crown. Even I can’t do that. The first thing my mother taught me was how to control my own body temperature in the heat of the desert, so as not to burn up in the sun.’
‘I’ve never seen anyone sick with the burn before,’ L’?r? said.
‘It’s the worst thing you can imagine. Their skin turns black as though charred over a flame and breaks off, leaving raw flesh exposed. The agony is … it’s brutal.’
Alawani paused, seeing her overwhelmed expression. ‘We can talk about this later, let’s start with something easy. Light.’ He moved closer to her and said, ‘Close your eyes.’
L’?r? did as he asked, embracing the darkness and listening for his voice.
‘Breathe in, deep and slow,’ he whispered. She could feel his gaze on her and his breath as it fell upon her skin. She followed his every command.
‘Clear your mind. Listen only to the sound of my voice. Imagine what you want to do. Follow the feeling that nudges at you, like walking towards a light at the end of a tunnel. Walk through that light and open your eyes.’
When L’?r? opened her eyes, the room seemed brighter. The buzzing in her blood was still there, but the pain was dulled. No. It was gone. She felt tense and ready to burst, but somehow in more control than she’d ever felt before.
‘Don’t force it down. Let your body be a vessel, not aprison. Allow the energy to flow back and forth through you until you’re ready to use it,’ Alawani said.
L’?r? looked at him, and his eyes widened. ‘Your eyes are glowing,’ he said. ‘They’re blue.’
‘What?’ L’?r? asked and immediately noticed the soft glow of white light that radiated from her palms. It looked like she’d pulled the rays from the moon’s light and hidden them in her body. Different from the warm glow of yellow light that reflected agbára oru. Her hands felt lighter than usual. She felt cold, but not like she would do in the night’s breeze. This cold almost felt like a warm hug, which made no sense, but nothing happening in this moment did.
