Page 42 of Blue Umbrella Sky
It took his eyes a moment to adjust—as the window itself was almost a mirror, facing the east and the just-risen sun—but when they did, Billy felt like someone had punched him in the gut. He seriously worried for a moment that the eggs, avocado, and salsa he’d had for breakfast might come up. He put a hand to his gut in an attempt to still its churning.
Milt wasn’t by himself.
And by that Billy didn’t mean the usual—Ruby scampering about his feet, hoping a crumb or two might fall from whatever Milt was eating.
No, Milt, at a little after seven in the morning, was in his kitchen with a man. A very handsome man. Broad-shouldered, powerful, with close-cropped hair and the kind of build one would associate with a linebacker.
Billy’s heart sank. His jealousy slammed into place as if it had never gone missing, loosing a storm of angry bees in his head.
They were embracing. Milt was clad only in a pair of blue, gray, and red pajama bottoms. The man wore a white T-shirt that clung to him and a pair of boxer shorts.
Can it be? Maybe it is. This sure as hell looks like a morning-after moment.Billy turned away, feeling a rush of emotions he couldn’t or didn’t want to identify on this pretty morning so at odds with the sudden turmoil rushing through his entire being.I don’t want to see them kiss. I’d really lose it then.
He had to plop down suddenly on the pavers, his breathing coming fast, his heart racing. Quickly his mind assembled a story.He forgot all about the two weeks. The “date,” in both respects, slipped from his mind. He moved on, as I knew he would. I just hoped it would be with me. But who can blame him for bringing that hunk home? Maybe it’s just a sex thing….And that thought stoked the nausea back up into high gear, even though the two of them had never done more than hold each other.
Still, to see Milt in another man’s arms was sickening, and Billy felt a nearly overwhelming sense of loss. His rational mind tried to tell him it was nothing, a one-nighter and that Milt would be kicking the guy out soon and getting himself ready for their hike.
Milt certainly has no reason to think he’s going steady with me. For God’s sake, man, get a grip!
Billy wanted to smile at his own folly but couldn’t. He slowly got to his feet and brushed off the back of his jeans. He took a quick look over his shoulder. Milt was now at the stove, stirring something in a pan; he was laughing at something the other man said. They looked like quite the happy couple. Milt had yet to cook for him!
How fucking homey.
Billy set down his gifts for Milt on a little side table and started back home.
Life was certainly full of surprises, not all of them pleasant.
Billy was glad there was no alcohol in his trailer. Because a Bloody Mary would taste great right about now.
Chapter 15
SUNDAY NIGHTand Milt had just taken Ruby out for her final walk. They’d strolled around the park, stopping at the chain-link fencing for the pool to watch a couple of his younger neighbors, a newly married couple, frolic in the water, the moon stretched oval on its almost navy blue surface. They didn’t even notice Milt and Ruby; they were too busy with their horseplay and their kissing. Milt was sure that, even though they were in the relatively cool waters of the pool, fires were being stoked.
He recalled being that young, being that in love—where the only thing that existed was the other, the beating heart of the one you cared so much for that the world around seemed to blur. He wished this couple well and that their period of bliss would endure for a long, long time.
Ruby got down into a crouch, watching the swimmers, every so often emitting a little whine. She loved the water, and even though it was against the rules, Milt would, on quiet nights when no one else was around, let her jump in and paddle around. Sometimes he’d throw a ball for her and she’d leap from the side of the pool to catch it and then splash down into the dark water. It always made him laugh and brought joy to his heart to see this creature, who’d endured such abuse, so happy.
Tonight, the couple ruined any chance of Ruby taking a nighttime dip. But it was okay. Ruby might not agree, but seeing the couple made Milt a little anticipatory. Tomorrow he’d get together with Billy for the first time after a couple of weeks apart, and he felt like he was actually now ready for him. He was keeping his options open, because he knew his heart was a fickle and fragile thing, and it could take him by surprise—either way. It could, for example, release him from being a perpetual widower and allow him to open the door to caring for a new man. It might even push him a little toward Billy, saying, in effect, “Go ahead, hon, you’ve waited long enough. You deserve this.” Or, the other side of the coin, it might let him know, once again, that his heart was bound forever to Corky, just as he’d promised him so many times over the years and not just that one time he remembered so well near the end of his life.
Milt was smart enough to know things could go either way. And he was old enough to realize that often our feelings took off in surprising directions, not behaving in the manner we expected them to.
Still, he was excited for the morning to come and excited to be spending a whole day again with Billy. After the hike he’d already planned what they’d do: a dip in the pool (sorry, Ruby, you’ll have to stay home) and then taking Billy to one of his finds, a little Vietnamese place he’d discovered in a strip mall on the north end of Palm Canyon, a place called the Rooster and the Pig, that had the freshest and most amazing Vietnamese food Milt had ever eaten, not that he’d had much. Summitville’s only nod to Asian cuisine had been a Panda Express on the highway near Walmart—hardly even comparable. Milt wanted to share somethinghe’dfound on his own in Palm Springs. He hoped Billy wasn’t aware yet of the charming little restaurant.
After much tugging and promises to bring her back the following night, late, Milt managed to get Ruby to leave the pool and give up on her dreams of being a sea lion.
At the trailer he refilled her bowl with the filtered water he kept in the fridge and leaned back against the counter to watch with satisfaction as she lapped it up. It was getting on toward nine, and Milt was looking forward to crawling into bed early and turning the TV on. He was currently bingeing on Netflix’s reboot ofQueer Eyeand was enjoying the makeovers and even the expert manipulation of his emotions. There hadn’t been an episode yet that had failed to elicit a tear or two from him.
“C’mon, girl, you ready to call it a night?” It was a bit earlier than they’d usually retire, but Milt wanted to be well-rested for the hike in the morning.
He’d just finished brushing his teeth when he heard the purr of a car engine through his screened bedroom window. There was the sound of a car door slamming and then footsteps. He glanced over at Ruby, who, like a dutiful wife, had already taken her place on the bed, her head on the pillow next to Milt’s. He smiled, shaking his head.
He crossed the room to peer out into the gloom, thinking that it certainly sounded like someone had pulled up in front of his home. But neighbors were very close by in the trailer park, so undoubtedly the car and the footsteps were headed toward someone else. He was expecting no one.
Ruby, taking her cue from him, raised up her head and directed her attention to the open bedroom window. A breeze rustled the curtain.
“Milt?” a figure in the darkness outside asked.
Ruby gave a soft little bark. She hopped down from the bed and clicked to the back door.
