Page 54 of Tuxedos and Tinsel
Something had flipped his switch. “People don’t just fall off the wagon without some kind of trigger. What happened?”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does matter,” she told him. “I didn’t agree to this little charade only to have you muck it up and embarrass us both.”
Plus, not that she’d say so out loud, his sudden change in demeanor worried her. He was supposed to be this sexy, confident “reformed” playboy. The man she saw a moment ago had looked vulnerable and dare she say, insecure. Insecurity washeralbatross. Men with perfect faces and perfect lips didn’t experience self-doubt.
“You don’t have to worry,” Lewis told her. “It was a momentary blip. Nothing more.”
“I believe you.” After all, he’d stopped himself before even getting to the bar. “Still, I’d feel better if I knew what set the blip off.”
“Silly really,” he said, looking downward. “I’ve faced down some of the world’s toughest players with thousands of people watching without flinching, but put me in a room full of tuxedo-wearing strangers and I’m a bundle of nerves.” Susan’s breath caught as he moved his hand toward her shoulder, only to fiddle with a frond hanging behind her. “I’m sure that sounds ludicrous to someone like you.”
“What do you meansomeone like me?” The branch he was playing with was brushing against her curls, causing little ripples of awareness.
“This is your world. Sophisticated. Highbrow. You belong in it.”
Hardly, but this wasn’t the time to argue. At least about that. “Excuse me, Mr. Celebrity Millionaire. This is your world too.”
“You know,” he said, “I tell myself that very thing all the time. That I belong.”
“But?” She could hear the doubt in his voice.
“But then I look at these people and I can hear them thinkingWhat is he doing here?It’s like they know where I came from.”
“So what if they do?” she asked. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. Heck, half of this room is probably wondering how they can wrangle an introduction. More than half, likely.”
“For now.”
Susan frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“You said it yourself. I’m a celebrity. The more distance between me and my playing days, however, the less it’ll matter. Until eventually I’ll be just some bloke who was once a somebody and they’ll wonder…” He shook his head. “Never mind.”
“Tell me. Please.” If whatever was on his mind was distressing enough that he would consider drinking, she wanted to help.
He answered so softly, she almost didn’t hear. “And they’ll wonder why they ever wanted me around in the first place. Silly, huh?”
A piece of her heart broke for him. “No,” she told him. Illogical perhaps, but far from silly. He wasn’t talking about reality; he was talking about a feeling that dwelled deep down inside a person. A feeling logic couldn’t always touch.
“The Collier men are all very tall,” she told him. “Very tall, very handsome and very charismatic, like my father. My mother is very beautiful. Like stop-traffic beautiful.”
He was looking at her with dark, fathomless eyes. “I’m not following.”
“When I was seven or eight—right before my mother took off—my parents threw a party. I wore this fancy party dress and my father told me how pretty I looked. I asked if I was as pretty as Mommy. And when he replied,Absolutely, my mother replied,Don’t lie to the girl,Preston. That was the moment I knew that I wasn’t like the rest of them. No matter how hard I tried, I would always be the odd one out.”
Now it was she who felt judged as Lewis’s gaze bore down on her. She’d meant the example as a sign of solidarity. Instead, she’d revealed that she was the Ugly Duckling of her family. He must think her daft. Why did she share anything?
His deep brown eyes moved closer. “Thank you. Knowing you understand means a lot.” He ran the back of his hand down her cheek. “More than you could know.”
A shiver worked its way through Susan’s body. Odd, since she’d suddenly grown very warm. Between the greenhouse temperature and the warmth emanating from Lewis’s body, the air around her had grown thick. It was making her light-headed.
“Everything all right?” Lewis asked.
“Can we sit down somewhere?”
“Of course. Come with me.” He tucked a curl behind her ear.
Since the other couple had departed—escaping the awkwardness of standing near a couple whispering in the bushes no doubt—Susan assumed they would head back to the walkway. Instead, Lewis took her hand and together they picked their way toward the waterfall.
