Page 77 of Tuxedos and Tinsel
“You want to be one of the cool kids,” Lewis replied.
“When you put it like that, it sounds so childish.” Maybe it was. High school was a long time ago.
She felt Lewis’s thumb stroking her dress, right above her hip bone. A slow, steady massage. She focused on the tempo, back and forth, back and forth until the feelings jumbled inside her formed a coherent sentence. “Not cool. Special,” she said finally. Lewis went to speak, but she stopped him with a shake of her head. “My brothers, my mother, even my father when he was alive. People pay attention to them. Notice them. People care about what they think because their opinions matter.Theymatter. I want to matter too,” she said in a soft voice.
Lewis stared at the woman curled into his side. How could she think she wasn’t special? “Oh, luv,” he whispered, brushing a wispy tendril from her face.
He knew what she meant. That feeling of being less than the rest of the room. Of waiting to be called out as a fraud and asked to leave. And while Susan was the last person who should feel that way, he knew all the reminding her in the world wouldn’t make her believe him. The feeling came from deep inside where words couldn’t reach. Only thoughts.
Still, it didn’t hurt to tell her. “You don’t need me on your arm to matter.”
“Don’t I though?” She shifted her position, her legs leaving his lap. It added space between them, and he didn’t like it. “Do you know how many people have wanted to talk with me at work since we started dating? They look at me differently now. And Courtney and Ginger? They’ve practically twisted themselves into knots trying to get on my good side. Call me immature,” she said, “but I like the attention. That’s the reason I wanted you as my date for the party. This might be the one time I get to be the popular girl.”
“I’d never call you immature,” he told her. She began to pick at the plaid material of the blanket. “If wanting to be popular is a crime, then half the world would be guilty.” Including him. Heck, his glass house was probably ten times the size of hers.
“You’re wrong though,” he told her. “You don’t need the spotlight to matter.”
Like he expected she would, she scoffed softly. “You can have all the adulation and popularity you want, but all you really need are a few people who care. One person even.”
“Easy for you to say.”
Was it? There was a lesson for him in those words, but now wasn’t the time to pick them apart.
“You sell yourself too short. You matter to your family. I know you don’t believe it, but you matter to your brothers. And Maddie…”
She smiled at the mention of her niece. “Maddie’s my little angel.”
Noel would be one soon enough as well, he suspected. She wasn’t the horrible, unlikable shrew she painted herself out to be.
She was amazing really.
If someone had told him a few weeks ago, when they hashed out this arrangement, how much he would enjoy their time together, he wouldn’t have believed them. Today wouldn’t have happened. He wouldn’t have achieved half the success if she hadn’t been by his side.
An inexplicable fullness gripped him. Looking at her now, white lights twinkling about her, he’d never seen anything as lovely.
“You matter to me too,” he said. The reverence in his voice didn’t come close to capturing how he felt. “A lot. You matter to me a lot.”
The look in her eye said she didn’t believe him.
Very well. He would just have to show her the best way he knew possible. Pulling her close, he kissed her.
And kissed her again.
“Let’s get out of here,” he murmured against her mouth. There was more he wanted to tell her. Plus he hadn’t been kidding about how delicious she looked. Between her chocolate-tinged kisses and her creamy bare back, she had him starving.
“I can’t. I promised Thomas.” Her argument would have been more persuasive if she weren’t kissing him back in between sentences. Eventually, she pulled away, out of his mouth’s reach. “Besides, at the very least I deserve a dance downstairs.”
Lewis took a good look at her mussed hair and swollen lips. There was no hiding what they’d been up to, that was for sure.
Well, she’d wanted people to notice.
Linus was stepping onto the dais to speak when they entered the ballroom. As soon as he saw them, he motioned impatiently for Susan to join him. Lewis stepped back into the shadows and watched as she hurried to the front of the ballroom. At least a half-dozen heads turned in her direction.
And she thought no one noticed her.
When she reached the stage area, Linus whispered something in her ear. Judging from the way she turned crimson, he could guess the commentary.
“I promise I won’t stand up here long,” Linus said, “because I know you’d much rather eat and drink free food than listen to anyone named Collier drone on. But my sister Susan and I wanted to take a few minutes and say thank you. This has been a true comeback year for Collier’s. Thanks to your efforts, the Collier name is poised to continue succeeding, not only for the upcoming year, but with luck, for another four hundred!”
