Page 53 of The Sun Will Rise
“I always need you,” she whispers quietly. I’m torn between my heart breaking and exploding with joy. “But you need to stay. I promise I’ll see you soon.”
“You’d better, baby girl,” I laugh. “I miss you like crazy, honey.”
“I miss you. So fucking much, Ev. I never thought I’d miss you like this, but—God, it feels like an elephant on my chest all the time, and it only leaves when I’m with you.”
“I know,” I whisper. With a quiet sigh, I stack my folded jeans back on the middle shelf in my closet. “I feel it too.”
Chapter twenty-eight
Ruth
“What’s the matter, Ruthy?”Paloma presses the back of her cool hand to my forehead and my left cheek in turn, like I’m unwell. “You look like a kicked puppy.”
“Excuse the fuck out of you,” I mutter. Then, at a normal volume: “Did you know?”
“Did I know what?”
“Keller. And my brother.” I spit out the words like bad medicine. Paloma’s face twists into something I don’t recognise.
“I found out yesterday,” she whispers. “She showed up at Amie’s as I was leaving. She’s devastated, Roo.”
“So she fucking should be.” I don’t even recognise the venom in my voice. “Traitorous fucking bitch. I told her to leave him alone, I fucking told her, and—”
“Roo, come on.” Paloma’s long fingers curl around my wrist. Her voice takes on a hard tone I don’t think I’ve ever heard from her before. “You can’t help what you feel. You know that. Look at you and your cowboy boo.”
“That’s different,” I insist. It is different… isn’t it?
“Is it, though?”
A light knock at the door signals Amie’s arrival. She brandishes a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc in one hand and a paper bag full of the mostdelicious-smelling greasy burgers in the other as she enters the room with a wicked smirk on her face.
“Stop leaving your door unlocked, Lo.”
“I left it openfor you, you Muppet. Ruthy was just telling me how Katy and Jay aren’t allowed to be in love, but she’s allowed to be arse over tits for Cowboy Daddy,” Paloma announces. She reaches into a large display cabinet, selecting from a colourful collection before setting three large wine glasses down on her coffee table. It’s not really a table but an old wooden treasure chest, and I know for a fact it’s filled with all kinds of wonders, from board games to decapitated dolls’ heads to scrapbooks Lo and I made in our twenties.
“Oh, don’t let me stop you,” Amie says, motioning for me to continue. Even as she says it, although there’s not an ounce of judgement or criticism in her tone, I know I’m being a bitch.
“He’s always been mine…” The words come out in a whisper, and Amie’s eyes soften. She reaches for my hand.
“He’ll always be your brother, Roo. But he’s his own man. He can make his own decisions. And honestly, honey, this one… it’s a good one, babe. He loves her. And I’ve never known Katy like this before, not in over twenty years. She’s absolutely fucking gone for him, Roo. It’s not just a fling that’ll end in five minutes and leave you choosing between them.”
“I’m just so fucking mad at them.” I sniffle, pressing my lips together. “Both of them. Katy fucked my brother, but Jay—Katy was my best friend, Amie. Mybest friend. And he—”
“She’s my best friend, too. And Lo’s. And the two of you are mine, too. It’s okay to be more than one thing, Ruth.” Amie’s eyes and words are patient, though I feel anything but.
“What if I lose them both?” I pitch forward, elbows on knees, struggling to breathe with the sudden and overwhelming weight ofthe sadness that just slammed into my chest. Paloma taps at my arm to get my attention, before opening hers. I lean in and she pulls me into her chest. There’s comfort in the rhythmic thud of her heartbeat.
“No one is losing anyone, okay?” I feel her words as they rise from her chest beneath my head.
“What happened, honey? Why are you so afraid?”
“He almost died, Amie,” I bite back quickly, lifting my head from Paloma’s chest. “He got hurt by his raging bitch ex and it almost broke him. And then heactuallyalmost fucking died, so excuse me for being fucking terrified that someday my brother might leave me an only fucking child.” Tears pour down my face before I even realise it. Neither Amie nor Paloma say a word, and I sit with a desperate mixture of rage and sadness.
“He’s my big brother,” I say softly, after a moment of quiet. “And I guess… I guess I’ve never had to share him before. Granny Bevan, Mum, Dad… even you girls. I’ve always had to share you all. But Jay wasmybrother, only mine, for my whole life. And now he’s with Katy, and she’s with him, and it feels like they’re both pulling away from me, and…” The sobs wrack my body as Paloma pulls me close again. Amie wraps her arms around both of us, her face resting in the hair on the side of my head.
We stay like this for several minutes, until the sobs become sniffles and the tears begin to dry in cool, crusty lines down my face.
“You’ll never lose Katy, honey. Do you even know her? That girl is ride or fucking die. She’s ours for life, Roo. Men or no men. No matter what.”
