Page 58 of Lucie
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chance
He’d been wanting to kiss ever since he saw her standing there in the aftermath of their battle against the Bloods atWhiterock. Her face and clothes had been splattered with black ichor, her spear dripping with the potentially toxic fluid. And all he could think about was getting to his feet, walking up to her, pulling her into his arms,and kissing her.
Here, deep in the night, in the semi-privacy of their tent, he finally allowed himself to act on that need. And from her response, she may have been wanting to do the same.
Despite his hunger, he dug his nails into the palms of his hands and forced himself to take it slow, take it gently. He didn’t want to drive her away by making her feel as if hewas demanding her to submit. He didn’t want an obligated surrender. He wanted a mutual surrender. For her to want him as much as he wanted her.
The more he kissed her, the more he wanted of them. Warm and pliant, they tasted slightly sweet. Although her soft lips didn’t surprise him, her reaction did. He never expected her to circle his neck with her arms and scoot closer. Or topress her body tightly against him, as if in silent invitation.
The kiss evolved into two, then three. Then into several gentle, smaller kisses that finally fell to the corners of their mouths and cheeks. Sighing, he nuzzled her temple.
“Lucien?” His name was more breath than sound.
“Yes?”
“Make love to me.”
Lifting his head,he stared down at her. “Johna…”
“Shhh.” She placed two fingers to his mouth. “Hear me out. I’m sick and getting sicker, and I don’t know if I’ll survive it. We both know that, just like we don’t know if you will eventually come down with this virus.”
“You’ll survive it,Johna.”
“Don’t say that,” she said almost demandingly. “You can’t be anymore surethan the doctor. You know the odds. You know the chances of survival. And even if I do pull through it, I could end up Damaged.”
“Johna,” he tried again, but she kissed him, and the words he planned to say evaporated from his mind.
She tugged on his outer shirt and rolled onto her back, silently urging him to roll on top of her. Unable to resist, he planted himselfbetween her spread legs, with the bedroll and their clothing keeping them separated. Propping himself on his elbows, he gazed down at her and noticed the tiny beads of sweat gathering on her forehead and upper lip.
“I’ve always wanted someone to love me,” she murmured. “I’ve always wanted someone I could love in return. I’m not saying I love you, Lucien, but I could. I could easilyfall in love with you, and do you know why?”
“Tell me.”
“Because when you look at me, you don’t see my difference. You see me.” She ran her fingers across the back of his neck. Her touch was cold, and sent icy shivers over his skin. “I’m scared. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to lose you, either. These past couple of days, I thought there might be a chance for us,but now that chance is being taken away.” She shook her head, and he saw tears glittering in her eyes. “That’s why I want you to make love to me. Give me something to remember, something I can cling to. Give me a little happiness so that, if I die, I can take it with me. Or if I don’t die, but my mind is gone, maybe some special part of this might remain untouched so I can relive it.”
A noise outside the tent caught his attention, and he glanced over where faint shadows passed in front of the fire. From the sound of it, he guessed it was shift change for the sentries.
Johnalaid a hand to his cheek. “Lucien?”
He couldn’t dismiss her plea because it was too much like his own. If they were to share any sort of togetherness, this may be theironly opportunity. By noon tomorrow either of them, or both of them, would be deep in the feverish throes of the virus. And with it they would lose any chance for any sort of happiness.
He dipped his face into the curve of her neck to kiss her skin. He caught the faint fragrance of the soap the washers used to clean his mother’s clothes. He also caught the scent of something slightlyacidic. It wasn’t off-putting, but it was distinctive. Smiling to himself, he kissed her under the ear. He felt her fumbling at the waistband of his pants, trying to undo the buttons, and he chuckled. “Fat lot it’s going to help us if you stay inside the bedroll and I’m on top of it.”
“Then get in here with me, in case someone sticks their head through the doorway.”
Lucien grinned down at her. “No one will dare to enter without announcing himself first to get permission.”
She paused. “No one?”
“Except for Iain. This is his tent, too, you know. And because he’s the doctor, and he has access to everything. And, of course, Mom or Dad. But everyone else, yes. Call it a perk for being the battle prince.”
“So tell me againwhat’s keeping you on top of the bedroll?”
He rolled to the side and quickly shoved his pants down to his knees.Johnalifted the flap to show she’d removed her pants altogether. When he resettled himself between her firm thighs, he noted again how chilled her skin was.
“Do you know you’re like ice?”
