Page 62 of Home in the Country
We’re quiet as she hustles around the kitchen and places a glass of sweet tea and a slice of apple pie down for each of us.
“What happened?”
“I’ve loved Fallon a long time,” I admit with my head down. “I’ve always been drawn to her, and we had a briefsomethingand then she disappeared.”
“I remember that. Always thought it was a girl.” Her smile is warm and devoid of judgment.
“I thought I’d moved on, but as soon as I saw her again…” Working though the running stream of commentary in my head, I take a bite of pie and relish in the way the cinnamon and nutmeg marry together in my mouth.
“First loves are hard, baby.”
“I’d give her up if it meant I could spend time with Briggs. Is that weird? Obviously I want to be with her like I want my next breath but she…” I swallow down the hurt and uneasiness coursing through me. “I don’t know if we truly want the same things, and my heart can’t take just bein’ physical with her.”
Looking up, I cringe, but Mama waves me away.
“That’s far from the worst thing I’ve heard comin’ from you boys.”
“Still weird,” I say as I shove a forkful of pie into my mouth.
“And yet you’re comfortable enough to talk to your Mama about it.” She beams and we both know she’s right.
“Why am I so attached to him, Mama? I picked him up from school yesterday when Fallon got held up, and it was thebest day.He wanted to see airplanes because his dad, Fallon’s ex-husband, is in the air force and I didn’t even care. I wasn’t jealous; I just wanted to make him happy.”
Realizing I’m talking to the table again, I look up to see Mama’s eyes full of unshed tears.
“You’re such a good man, Otto Raymond. You have a big heart, and there’s nothin’ wrong with showin’ that boy some love.” I feel the tips of my ears go hot under her praise.
“It’s kinda like when Marlee and Sorren moved here.”
“It is. Waylon and Sorren might have bought her Henny Penny, but I’m the one who received the call that you’d punched that boy in the face for makin’ fun of Marlee on the playground.”
“I don’t think she ever knew I did that.” That day would forever be burned into my brain.No onewas gonna talk to Marlee like that.
“Did you do it for the recognition?”
I shake my head. “I didn’t want to see her hurt.”
“She’s our family, Otto. She and Sorren are our family, and it has nothing to do with anything but how much we love them.”
My mind slows as her words sink in, and everything doesn’t seem as daunting as when I arrived.
“So what do I do?”
“Be respectful and listen, and I think it will turn out all right. You have a big heart, baby. It’d be a shame not to share it.”
We sit in silence and I mull over everything she said before voicing my other concerns.
“Mama?”
“Hmm?”
“How do I help Fallon if she doesn’t know she needs help?” Mama raises an eyebrow in my direction, and I stumble over my words, tryin’ to clarify. “She’s trying to do everything by herself. I know that her parents help with Briggs sometimes, but her plate is overflowing and I’m worried she’s gonna crash hard.”
“Well baby, it’s hard to say. I know that sometimes pride, like in Hank’s case, can get in the way of gettin’ what you need. Do the best you can to offer support without oversteppin’.” She sighs with a tired smile. “And prepare for the crash.”
“But—”
“Who do you call when you wanna blow off some steam?”
