Page 25 of Home in the Country
“Thank you,” I manage as a ball of emotion lodges itself in my throat. “I know what I’m doing,” I say and he nods.
“Are you ready, Mommy?”
“Areyouready!?” I laugh and hop around. It makes him giggle and it’s still the sweetest sound.
“Come ’ere, kiddo.” My father scoops Briggs up and spins him around. They laugh and it’s a moment I’ll remember forever.
We say our goodbyes, and I pepper Briggs’s face with kisses as I buckle him into his booster seat.
“I missed you.”
“It was only one night!” He tries to sound exasperated, but I can tell he’s secretly pleased.
“Ready to go get paint?”
“Yes!” He wiggles in his seat as I close his door and open mine. Despite Mama’s warning, I refuse to feel guilty over doing something for myself. Things are falling into place, and I send up a silent prayer that this is only the beginning.
8
OTTO
It’s been a week since I saw Fallon, and I’ve done everything in my power to keep it that way. She’s invaded my every waking thought and most of my dreaming ones too. I swear that despite showering every day this week, I can still smell her on me.
“You’re doing it again,” Case says while giving me the side-eye.
“Doin’ what?”
“That pensive sighing thing.”
Instead of answering, I take a bite of my sandwich.
“What’s wrong with just askin’ her out?”
“I don’t wanna ask her out.”
“Care if I do then?” I glare at my brother and he raises an eyebrow at me.
“Why does this have to be a thing?”
“Because you’re mopin’ around, and it’s drivin’ me fucking nuts.”
“I’m not that bad.”
“You are, and for what it’s worth, I think you’re bein’ a moron. You still love her, and she’shereso why are you so hell-bent on the past?”
“I’m not—”
“Yeah, what she did was fucked-up—ghostin’ you like that—but is thisseriouslythe hill you wanna die on?”
I hate when he’s logical, but I’m not willing to let it go just yet, so I grunt and ball up the foil from my lunch and throw it in the garbage.
We don’t talk for the next few hours, and Case only glares at me a handful of times when I sigh. My chest feels heavy, and a big part of me wishes she’d never come back, that I’d never touched her, so I’d never have to feel like this again.
But the other part feels like a flicker of hope. It’s misguided and full of false promises I can’t afford to get attached to.
“Hey, can you run over to Jake’s? He says he has somethin’ he wants picked up.”
“Sure.” I don’t ask what it is because it doesn’t matter. My brother is trying to get rid of me, and lookin’ at the clock, it’s close enough to quittin’ time I can just take off after.
