Page 35 of Home in the Country
FALLON: No one is going to punch you
TANNER: They won’t if you tell him
FALLON: You’re being dramatic
TANNER: Fallon…
FALLON: I’ll have Briggs video chat you when he’s home from school
TANNER: Your topic change is noted and I’m not impressed
FALLON: Good thing I’m charming right?
TANNER: Not even a little
Ignoring his snarky remark, I get up and get dressed before heading into the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast. I understand why Tanner isn’t totally on board with me dating—or currently sleeping with Otto—but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. All I want is to find the balance and the pieces of myself I’d lost over the years.
I can hear Briggs moving around in his room, and I can only hope that there’s some semblance of a matching outfit when he emerges.
“Hi, Mommy.” He wraps his arms around my waist, and I bend down to kiss the top of his head. He’s opted for a blue T-shirt and the same color blue shorts, and since we’ve had worse, I take it as a win.
“Hi baby, how did you sleep?”
“Good. I dreamed that dinosaurs were in our yard and they were tryin’ to eat my lunch, and I told them no, that they didn’t even like my lunch but they wanted it. Then Dad came and sent them home.”
I set a bowl of cereal in front of him at the island and watch as he enthusiastically devours it. I need about three hours before I can even contemplate eating food most days.
Replaying my son’s running nighttime commentary, I swallow hard as the last part makes my heart squeeze. “Well, it’s a good thing your dad was there to help you. And you know what?”
“What?”
“I bet that Daddy was thinking of you and that’s why he was in your dream.”
“Really?” Briggs squeals and I smile.
“Yeah, baby, I know Daddy misses you so much. You can tell him all about your dream after school, okay? Now go brush your teeth so we can get going.”
Briggs hops off the stool, and I take his now empty bowl and load it into the dishwasher before tapping out a quick text to Tanner. He can handle the dinosaur dream later, and I decide not to let his earlier concern tank my good mood.
With an extra spring in my step, we manage to make it early to school, but that’s where my good morning stops.
A waterlogged ceiling tile fell onto one of the lab benches overnight, and while maintenance is doing their best to clean up the mess, it still disrupts the entire day. Switching gears, I’m halfway through rearranging the room and setting out materials when my phone rings on the table.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me and I have bad news.” My heart sinks as Tanner tells me why he’s delayed in coming out here by more than a few weeks.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I say, “I know that you don’t have any control of this but—” I cut my words off becauseI knew better.“I told Briggs.”
“Oh, Fallon,” he sighs, and I hang my head because it’s the cardinal rule of military life.
“I know. But it was close and things here are going well, and I just got carried away and now he’s going to be crushed.”
“We’ll figure it out together like we always do, okay? You’re not alone in this, and it’s hard, harder than I ever imagined, but I wouldn’t have wanted to do this with anyone else.”
“You sure about that?”
“I’m sure,” he says without hesitation and my eyes well with tears. “I’m sorry I made you upset earlier about that guy, but I just want you to be careful, okay? I get it; we were pretty much kids ourselves when you got pregnant. We got married and dated at the same time, and while I know it wasn’t this incredible passionate be-all and end-all undying love—I still love you.”
