Page 39 of Home in the Country
“I’m already in too deep, and you can’t make enough excuses to put me off. So it’s fine; I can’t even be mad. Take care of Briggs and let me know if you need somethin’.”
And with that last devastating blow, Otto climbs into his truck and eases down the road with the same casualness he came here with, but nothing is the same, and the gaping hole in my chest says it might never be again.
13
OTTO
It’s not a mystery that people think I’m a fuckup.
I fell into the role of thefunny guypretty easily, and in generalI am that guy.I like being happy and making people happy, but I’ve never felt more inadequate than this moment.
The wordsI’ve always been in love with youalmost slipped past my lips while talking to Fallon, but that would have been a fucking disaster. I couldn’t even take a hint as she was trying to let me down easy theentire time.
I just kept pushin’ and pushin’ like I could change her mind—like I could be what she needed. But I’m nothin’ but a damn fool.
Hearing her say she’s not the same girl that took my virginity was the wake-up call I needed—need—because I’m always going to be part of the worst day of her life. That realization fucking shattered my heart right there in the dirt.
My truck eases into a spot at my sister’s bakery, The Poppy Seed,and I steel myself against the undercurrent of emotion pulsing through my body. Pasting on a smile, I walk inside and head straight for the counter.
It’s bright and comfortable in here and always smells amazing. My sister is a hell of a baker, and she always knows exactly what I’m looking for as soon as I walk in. It’s a blessing and a curse that she can read me so well and today, it’s a curse.
Rhea’s wearing a turquoise apron with pineapples all over it, and the cheery print is completely at odds with the scowl on her face.
“I’m fine,” I say without much enthusiasm.
“Get your ass back there.” She gentles her tone and adds, “I’ll bring you snacks.”
“A chocolate chip cookie?” I ask like the man-child everyone assumes I am.
“I’ll get two,” she agrees while pointing to her office. “Ella, can you come watch the register?”
Moving through the shop, I don’t wait to hear her response, only brace myself for the onslaught of questions headed my way.
I slump onto the loveseat, and with my elbows on my knees, drop my head into my hands and try the deep breathing exercises Mama is always talkin’ about.
The door clicks shut quietly and then Rhea is sitting next to me with her head on my shoulder and her arms locked around me.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“I’m still so fuckin’ in love with her.”
“I know.”
Raising my head, I look at her with skepticism plain in my gaze.
She rolls her eyes. “I know everything.”
I squint at her. “You and Sorren would be really scary together.” I drop my head back into my hands. “Bunch of know-it-alls,” I grumble, and she laughs.
A cookie is thrust into my field of vision, and I can’t help the way my mood instantly perks up at the promise of sugar.
“Fallon is complicated, sweetie; it doesn’t mean she’s not the one for you.”
“She doesn’t want to be with me. I’m too much and not enough.”
“Did sheactuallysay that?”
“Pretty damn close.”
