Page 52 of Home in the Country
Hell, I want to ask him out, but when I open my mouth, nothing happens.
“I’ll see you around, Fallon.”
“Bye.”
After pressing the end button with more force than necessary, I drop my phone onto my desk and heave out a sigh.
My teacher heart is happy; the rest of me is not.
I miss him, but I’m still not sure if it’s smart to add something else to my plate. Especially when things are still so up in the air with Tanner.
Cleaning up the boxes, I throw on a music playlist and then glare at my phone as “Hot N Cold” by Katy Perry comes on.
The lyrics hit a little too close to home, and I end up rage cleaning the rest of the room before grabbing my purse and shutting the lights off. Looking at the time, I’m thankful that I only have to go a short distance to pick up Briggs, because I’m barely on the right side of being late.
Luckily, my son is more than willing to fill any and all silence the entire ride home. I’m so distracted by his school day monologue that I almost miss the two bags on the front steps.
Grabbing our stuff from the car, Briggs races to the porch and does a little dance as he looks inside at our mystery presents.
“What is it, buddy?”
“Flowers,”—he wrinkles his nose—“and snacks.” The latter makes him grin.
Together we manage to get everything inside, and I take the first relaxing breath all day as I kick my shoes off. Briggs hangs up his backpack and then empties his lunchbox before bouncing over to me.
His excitement could fill an entire room, and I can’t help but laugh. I hold my arms out, and he steps into them easily and wraps me in a hug.
“I missed you today,” I say quietly.
“I missed you too.”
We stay like that a minute longer, and I appreciate the stillness and that he knows I need it.
“Mama?”
“Yeah?”
“Can we open presents now?”
Releasing him, I chuckle and he hops onto the stool as I pull out two mason jars filled with white carnations. A box of food coloring sits in the bottom of the bag with a little note attached to it.
Thought you guys might like to see these flowers change colors just like magic! Add a couple drops to each jar and you’ll have a fun surprise in the morning!
Briggs’s eyes widen as I read the note aloud. “Cool! Can we do it?”
“Sure. Let’s see what’s in the other bag first.”
He pulls the bag over and we work together to get the Tupperware container out. Inside are homemade Rice Krispie cereal bars with mini chocolate chips. There’s also a second note.
Can’t do magic without snacks.
Briggs giggles, but I want to scream and cry and not at all in a bad way. So many nights, I come home tired andnois on the tip of my tongue. I’m trying to give my all at school, and it feels like I can’t do the same each night when I get home.
I keep hoping that it will get easier as we get used to our new schedule, but it feels daunting, and the mom guilt is always at the periphery.
“How about this,”—I wait for Briggs to look at me—“you pick what color you want to put in each jar, and I’ll get us a snack and we can do the colors together.”
“Yeah!”
