Page 61 of Home in the Country
“He’s,”—I pause, looking for the right word—“hesitant, but I know he wants me to be happy.”
I chuff out a laugh because what in the actual fuck is going on right now?
“Is that so hard to believe?” she asks with a huff and a hand on her hip.
“I can’t imagine any man willingly lettin’ you go, Princess.”
She rolls her eyes. “I’m watchin’ a man tryin’ to let me go right now.”
“I’m tryin’ to do the right thing,” I say as I spread my arms out wide, “and I have no fucking clue what that is.”
“How about you let me make my own damn choice then?”
Looking up at the sky, I exhale through my nose even though it does nothing to calm me.
“Fine. But not tonight.” She starts to speak but I hold up my hand. “Be sure, Fallon. We’ll go slow, and I’ll make nice with your ex, but for the love of Mama’s chicken pot pie, be sure.”
“Okay.” The word is a whisper on the breeze.
We’re both so damn tired but I won’t survive any more back and forth with her. Stepping in, I place a gentle kiss on her cheek and then head to my truck and climb in. In the quiet of the cab, I pull out my phone.
OTTO: Do we have whiskey?
CASE: Is that a rhetorical question?
OTTO: No
CASE: Then we have whiskey
OTTO: I’m on my way
I turn the key, and the song “Good Ol’ Man” by Drew Green starts playin’ immediately because of course it does. The song is the most amazing kick in the nuts, and dammit, I gotta do better too—just after whiskey.
20
OTTO
“Mama!” My voice carries and echoes off the porch as I knock and immediately walk into my childhood home.
“Otto? Is everything all right?”
Unsurprisingly, the whiskey I drank with Case the night before provided exactly zero clarity and only managed to give me a headache I couldn’t shake. Work was hot and exhausting, and while the physical labor usually helps to quiet my mind, it only seemed to amplify everything with Fallon.
Dragging my hands down my face, I say the simplest thing I can think of. “I love him, Mama.”
She pauses, clearly confused, and then wraps herself around me in a fierce hug.
“We love you, baby, no matter who you love.”
My brain takes only seconds to catch up before a laugh rumbles in my chest.
“No, Mama.” I wrap my arms tighter around her. “Fallon’s kid. I love him and I think I loved him the first time I saw him, but he’s not mine to love and she’s driving me absolutelycrazyand I just… How did this happen?”
Pulling back, she holds my face in her hands and looks at me the way she always has when my world gets too loud.
“Come sit, baby.”
I do.
