Page 87 of Home in the Country
Stepping inside, I linger in the entryway then follow him through the house to a small patio with two camping chairs set out.
“Movers arrive later this week, so it’s the best I can do for now.”
He hands me a bottle, and we sit in silence just staring out at the well-manicured lawn. I’m still dissecting the last ten minutes when he speaks.
“I can see how it looks from your perspective, but there is nothing going on between me and Fallon except trying our best to raise Briggs.”
I look over, but he’s still staring out in front of him.
“I don’t care if you and I are friends. I won’t lose any sleep over it if this is the only drink we ever share.” He holds the bottled water in my direction and meets my gaze. “The only thing I care about is how you treat Fallon and how you treat my son. That’salwaysbeen my concern, and I’m not going away.”
“He’s a great kid and she…” My voice trails off and I rub my fist over the ache in my chest. “I never stopped loving her.”
“Are youin lovewith her?”
“Yes.”
“Does she know?”
I shrug. “We haven’t really talked about it.”
Tanner takes a sip of his drink and then picks at the label. “She’s…” It’s his turn to be at a loss. “She’s going through a rough time with everything.”
My back stiffens and I grip the bottle until it crinkles loudly in my hand.
“Dude, relax.” He rolls his eyes before taking another sip. “She got a divorce, she’s dealing with my…reality, she moved back across the country, and now she’s trying to restart her life, rekindle shit with you, and balance everything.”
“Is yourrealitysomething I’m going to have to deal with?”
Tanner goes completely still before looking at me for a really long time. Minutes feel like hours as we stare at each other.
“I’m going to tell you something and not because I really want to but because I think it will help you understand. And I’m honestly pissed she put us in this position.”
“That right?”
“Pretty much.”
“Well?” My voice is laced with irritation.
“I’m gay. Congratulations, you’re one of a few people who knows.”
Tanner chugs the rest of his water before aggressively putting the cap back on and slamming it into the mesh cup holder.
His declaration doesn’t land in the top five things I thought he was going to throw at me. I don’t care—his preference is his preference—but I definitely have some follow-up questions.
“That’s uh…good for you, man,” I say carefully because while no one has evercome outto me before, and I don’t know Tanner, I feel like this is a big deal for him.
“So in the order I think you’re wanting to ask—yes, I love Fallon. No, I’m notin lovewith her. Yes, I was attracted to her but I think it was more her mind than her body when we conceived Briggs. No, I don’t want to have sex with her or any other woman. Yes, I know I’m in my late twenties. No, I’m not attracted to you and have zero interest in hooking up with you or her or both of you together so don’t make it weird.”
“Dude.” I double over in my chair and laugh until my stomach hurts. Glancing up through the tears in my eyes, I catch a slight smile on Tanner’s lips.
“Did I miss anything?”
I sober and look at him head on. “I want you to know that I don’t take it lightly that you shared that with me.”
Holding my hand out, I wait with bated breath for him to take it. When he does, there’s an understanding that passes between us. We might not be friends now, but we could be. If Fallon and I make a life together, Tanner is going to be a part of that.
“I…appreciate that,” he says, releasing my hand and rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s been enlightening. Fallon has been supportive, but we’re both working through what it all means.”
