Page 13 of Feels Like Falling
But just like my musings, it’s cut short when my father’s name flashes across the dashboard. Sighing, I accept the call and wait only a second before his voice comes over the speakers.
“Well, I guess you didn’t wait till tomorrow to hit the road,” he says, his voice full of tender amusement.
“I was too excited to wait. Besides, the drive isn’t that far,” I say even though it’s definitely the farthest I’ve ever driven on my own. The thought makes me frown.
“I wish you would stay at the house.”
“Honestly, Dad, there are few things I’d like to do less than stay there.”
He sighs, and while I wish I could spare his feelings, I won’t take it back. The house I grew up in wasn’t a home. It was a showpiece and nothing more.
“It was worth a try,” he says with a chuckle. “I need you to do me a favor while you’re there.”
“What’s that?”
“I need you to go to our place and get a burger—one with bacon and grilled onions and that sauce they won’t let me buy by the gallon—and then send me a picture so I can live vicariously through you.”
“Dad.” I laugh but my heart still warms at the way he saysour place.Boots On Bar and Grill is a Blackstone Falls landmark, and my mother would rather wear clothes from a discount store than step foot inside.
So it was perfect. It became our little getaway when we just wanted to catch up for a while without my mother lurking and sucking every ounce of joy from the room. I’d been envious of the relationship Montana’s sisters had with their mother—it’s why I never let myself be close to any of them.
“Oh and the onion rings! Can’t forget those.” He sighs wistfully like he’s been dreaming about the beer-battered veggies. “You know I can’t get away with stuff like that when your mother is around.” His tone is still light as he says the words, but all I can feel is the sadness.
For him.
For me.
For the things I still don’t understand.
“Well, it’s certainly a hardship,” I say, taking his lead and putting as much enthusiasm as I can manage into the words, “but I’ll do it for you.”
“That’s my girl.” A beat passes and then another as those three words hang between us. My whole life I wished he would choose me over her, but he didn’t, and even now those three words feel hollow.
“Is it all right if I hop in the pool this week? You said no one is at the house until Saturday, right?”
He clears his throat, and I can see in my mind the way his face falls at my lack of acknowledgment.
“It is. Sundown Realty manages the house and property. I let them know to expect you in and out of there this week.” Pausing, he adds, “I think Montana does some work for them. I know he’s been to the house to handle some repairs on an on-call basis maybe.”
“He didn’t mention it,” I say while my mind processes that interesting development. A sly grin spreads across my face as an idea starts to take root, making my heart beat a little faster. It’s not foolproof, but I’m feeling good about my odds.
“He’s done well out there with the farm.”
Even though he can’t see me, I narrow my eyes. “Careful, Dad, that almost sounded like you’re being nice to my best friend.”
A heavy sigh fills the line. “I’ve nevernotliked Montana but…it’s complicated. I probably owe him an apology,” he admits, and I snort because hedefinitelyowes Montana an apology. “I’m not proud of all the choices I’ve made in my life, Ellison, and given the chance, I’m sure I’d change a few—but life isn’t black-and-white and the choices sure as hell aren’t easy.”
It’s too heavy of a conversation for the last leg of my drive, and I need a little boost to get me to the county line.
“We can talk about it later, Dad. I’ll text you when I get home, okay?”
“It’s always been home, huh?”
“Always.”
“Drive safe, El, I love you.”
“I will. Love you too, Dad.”
