Page 21 of Feels Like Falling
“I hated you bein’ gone. I understood some of it but not all of it.”
We could have been together. You could have come with me. We’ve wasted so much time.
The words are loud in my head, but it’s too late to start that conversation now.
“Not tonight,” I whisper, and he holds me tighter, his throat bobbing his only tell to how he really feels.
When I received my acceptance letter to college, I knew before I even asked that Montana would never leave the farm. I just wanted a life with him—a life free from my parents to be with the boy who made my heart beat faster than any trust-fund kid they introduced me to.
I had to believe, deep down, that my parents had my best interests in mind when they paraded me around, but it wasn’t easy. So much of my life had been scripted, and the only people who knew the real me were Montana, Grandad, and Nan.
Even his parents and sisters thought I was the quiet, mild-mannered girl who would uphold my societal standing by marrying for power instead of love.
I couldn’t blame them—it’s what I’d been raised to do.
Montana had been my wild card, and I’d held on to him with a death grip. I’d rebelled at every turn, and Montana had been my fall guy.
And he’d kept me safe.
Kept my secrets.
“Am I still your best friend, Max?” The question is so quiet it can barely be heard over the hum of the air conditioner.
“You’ll always be my best friend, Eddie,” he says with that knowing smile I remembered he only ever used with me—usually when he was exasperated by something I’d done.
But it had been mine.
Was it stilljust mine?
“Who was your best friend while I was gone?” I press and he chuckles, the sound lighting me up inside.
“Not really how it works.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s not like I’m callin’ someone up from the minors to play in the big leagues.”
“Well, your first problem is thinking you’re the big leagues, Montana Greene,” I tease and then yelp when he pinches my side, making me squirm against his hard body.
It’s a punishment I’ll gladly endure.
“Why would I need to replace you when I knew it was just a matter of time until you came back?”
“I just want to make sure I don’t have to set anyone straight thinkin’ they get what’s mine.”
“Uh-huh. Who wasyournew best friend?”
“You know I’m not good at that,” I say quietly and brace myself for the words that are inevitably coming.
Montana swallows, and I let my eyelids flutter close for the briefest second. “You did have a friend though, right?”
“I had some people I was friendly with,” I say on a heavy sigh. “But you know how that world is, Max. I traded one fancy prison for another.”
His arms grip me tighter, and I release a shuddery breath because it’s over, and I don’t want to dwell on the time we’ve been apart.
“Remember that time we tried to make Grandad a pumpkin pie because it’s his favorite?”
Montana’s chest rumbles with laughter, his eyes crinkling in the corners as he nods. “We almost nailed that one.”
