Page 46 of Feels Like Falling
“Definitely scary,” he confirms, and I roll my eyes at his dramatics.
“So, what happened with Tanner?”
“He’s gorgeous, don’t get me wrong, but he’s not ready to date anyone and honestly neither am I. He’s gotta work through his own stuff, and God knows I have enough anxiety for everyone, so we’re probably doing our friends and family a favor on this one.”
My heart hurts for my new friend.
“You’re allowed to be happyandadjusting. You’re allowed to be all the things.” He raises an eyebrow in challenge, causing me to scoff. “We’re talking about you not me.”
“Hmm…”
Pointing a pretzel bite at him, I narrow my eyes. “I’m serious.”
“Me too.” He finishes his beer and places the empty glass on the table. “Besides, I’m devoting all my energy to this relationship,”—he motions between us and I snort—“so I can’t possibly take on anything else right now.”
“Iama lot of work.”
“From your mouth to God’s ears, sweetheart.”
We only last a second longer before we dissolve into giggles. Moving back here has been so much more than I could have imagined. Without the constant weight and expectation of my parents, it’s like I’m finally able to breathe.
If I put myself out there, the only person they have to judge isme.
I’ve never had that before.
Tears cloud my vision at the realization. Cal’s hand covers mine and he squeezes it. He doesn’t ask, and I get the feeling he doesn’t need to because he can feel it. He knows what this is without me having to say a word.
I hate this for us.
But maybe, together, we can finally show the world the people we were always meant to be. It’s cheesy but I don’t care. I won’t live in the shadows of my past because the future is bright and beautiful and I fucking deserve to be happy.
We both do.
Clearing my throat, I motion to the menu. “Do you want food? I think this day calls for food, and I have to send my dad a picture of a burger anyway.”
“That’s not weird at all.”
“It’s a long story,” I say with a wry smile as he snatches his menu up and looks at me over the laminated edge.
“Lucky for me, we’ve got time.”
21
MONTANA
“Are you sure this isn’t overkill?” Archer asks, wiping the sweat from his brow as he hangs the strand of fairy lights from the porch ceiling.
“May I remind you that I took care of the entire cleanup of your Valentine’s Day date with Bea?” I pause and smirk. “Also that I got her number for you…”
He grumbles something under his breath but otherwise doesn’t comment. My cousin wooed his girlfriend via text before she agreed to go on a date with him. And because of how shy he generally is, he’d set up an intimate date in the high school gymnasium where they first ran into each other.
The privacy had helped take the social pressure off so he could be himself, and it worked because they’ve been together ever since.
I am happy for him and I want that—with Ellison—and it is time to do it right. I’d never gotten to date her, and that was a problem I planned to rectify. We’d gone out plenty of times but never with the intention that it was anything other than two friends enjoying each other’s company.
If the time since she’s been home has told us anything, it is that we need to slow down and enjoy getting to know each other again.
Romantically.
