Page 83 of Feels Like Falling
Halfway to the ATV, he stops and looks at me over his shoulder. “How long should I expect him to be moping around?”
I bite my lip to contain the smile trying to stretch across my face. “At least a day or two. I’m going to have to make him good and mad if this is gonna work.”
“I’ll leave it to you then. I have to go check on Patches before turning in.”
“Oh, hold on,” I say, running inside and coming back with the keys to Montana’s truck. “Tell Mason and Bodhi to bring this home to him since they’re your protection detail tonight.”
“Damn kids,” he grumbles but takes them and meets Mason in the driveway, saying something to make the kid chuckle before starting up the ATV and heading home.
My heart squeezes because it’s where I should be going.
And I will.
But first I need to show Montana what he means to me, not just now but always. The smile that spreads across my face is real and bright as an idea starts to take shape.
Poor guy has no idea what’s about to hit him.
37
ELLISON
“Mornin’, Max,” I say cheerfully as I push off the driver’s side door of his truck with a smile I hope is bright and shining and not at all like the nervous butterflies taking up residence in my belly.
He pauses midstride, his hand tightening around his coffee cup as he stares at me, the dark circles under his eyes mirroring my own.
“I’m not ready to talk to you,” he says not unkindly as he swallows hard and blinks at me.
“That’s all right,” I say even though I hate it. “I can wait but this can’t.” I thrust the navy blue hat at him that I dug out of the bottom of the closet. Crocheting with Nan had been one of my favorite things even though I’m still terrible at it.
There were a handful of blankets with uneven lines out there that I’d donated.
I’d been working on this hat when she’d passed away, and I’d never been able to finish it—just moved it with me here to Blackstone Falls.
“It’s hot out,” he says as he eyes the winter hat in his hand. I can’t guarantee it’ll fit right but also that’s not the point.
“You can never be too prepared,” I say with a smile. “Besides, did you know Nan taught me how to crochet?”
“Uh, yeah. I remember,” he says as his thumb moves back and forth over the soft weave. “Pretty sure I have a scarf that ought to match this.” His brow furrows, and if I wasn’t dodging a minefield, I would reach up and smooth the crease with my thumb then rub between his eyes hard enough for him to laugh and push me back a step.
“I’ve gotten better though, right?” We both look down at the hat and I fight my smile. “Maybe I’m still a little rusty.”
“I know what you’re doing,”—I open my mouth to speak but he holds up the hat to silence me—“but I’m not ready. I’m mad and I’m pissed…and I’m fuckin’ hurt, Ellison.”
I hate the way he uses my real name, and I hate the way his warm, brown eyes are pleading with me to just let it go.
“I’m so sorry, Max.”
“I don’t want to say something I can’t take back, Eddie.”
“Then you can listen, okay?” I say with more bravado than I feel. “Because I’m sorry I never told you that you’re my favorite part of every day. That I want to crawl inside you and feel your heartbeat sync with my own because being a part of you is all I’ll ever need. You’ve been my champion since the day we met, and you were right to call me out because I haven’t been yours, and I’m so damn sorry, baby.”
“El.” My name is a choked whisper, his fingers tight around his mug like he’s doing it so he won’t reach for me.
“Just tell me I can make it right—because my plan is epic,” I add and smile when his lips twitch. “And I need you to know there’s nogood enoughwith us. You’re the only one I’ll ever want, Montana Greene. You’re the other half of my beating heart and a thousand times more patient with me than I deserve.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t fight harder. For you. For us.”
“I think Grandad was right. There’s a reason it took us so long to get here, and I promise I won’t mess it up, all right?”
