Page 24 of Unexpectedly Falling
“That’s very noble of you.”
“There’s enough assholes in the world, especially when you have to have thick skin just to go to the grocery store. Professional sports is brutal and sometimes you just have to roll over and take it. Sometimes you get to fight back but at what cost? Victories like that off the field are so empty. It’s nice to connect with kids who are still shiny and bright and ready to take on the world.”
“You know you’re not much older than they are, right?”
A darkness flashes in her eyes, her face losing the brightness she’d just described.
“I’m going to go get changed for a run.” She holds up her cup. “Thanks for the coffee.”
Reaching out, I grab her arm and pull her to a stop. “I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t say anything,” she says coolly, and I keep my expression on the friendlier side of neutral.
“You didn’t have to. You’re upset,”—her eyes narrow and I hold my hands up in surrender—“pissed. You’re pissed.” I lower my hands and my voice. “Tell me why.”
Nessa stares at me a long moment, her eyes cataloging every line and angle of my face. I’ve been in a number of standoffs in my career, but I know with all that I am that the stakes are so much higher in this moment.
“I have fought tooth and nail to be seen as a professional, Jensen. I am a world-class fucking professional athlete, and you know what I get asked about in interviews?” It’s rhetorical so I don’t answer. “I get asked about my father’s NFL career and isn’t he proud of his little girl. I get asked about my dating life and how nice I look in a dress after being on the field all day andwowI look so young today but tomorrow someone is telling me I’mold and well past my prime. I fight every single day to be seen for more than the fact that I have tits and an ass, and I’m fucking tired, but you know who’s out there fighting for me? No one. So every day, I’ll get up and I’ll own the game and I’ll make myself unforgettable so that one day the female athletes that come after me won’t have to fight for the respect that is so easily given to others.”
A chasm sits between us as I replay her words. There’s a fierceness to them that’s undeniable as she watches me take it all in. It’s fucked up but I know that it’s true. Anyone with eyes can tell that she’s worked her ass off to get where she is both on and off the field.
“I apologize, Nessa. I didn’t mean any offense. I was trying to say that you’d be able to relate to them easier—as a positive but also as a joke,” I admit. “It missed the mark and was inappropriate and I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine, just?—”
“It’s not fine, Nessa,” I say louder than I anticipate. She quirks an eyebrow as I rub the back of my neck. “I shouldn’t have made the age comment because I know better. Hell, I’m the youngest sheriff this side of the state has ever had. I thought I had a decade or two before I’d get my chance, but then Sheriff Brannon had his hip surgery and all of a sudden I’m in charge and people are lookin’ to me for what’s next.” I sigh. “Not everyone liked that.”
“It’s a lot of pressure.”
“But it’s like you too. Someone is always watchin’. They’re waiting for you to make a mistake so they can capitalize on your humanity.”
Nessa’s face softens the tiniest bit. “I can be a little sensitive,” she says, the joke missing the mark like mine had, except this time she’s trying to downplay the effect it has on her.
“It’s fucked up, Nessa, and that’s not on you.”
“We can’t change the world overnight, Sheriff. One day, one moment, one second is all we have at any given time and we have to make the best of it.” She takes a step back toward her room. “And now, I’m really going to need that run. I’ll see you later.”
12
JENSEN
INDIE: Oh my God, come get your parents
INDIE: I’m not gonna make it to Christmas
JENSEN: They’ve only been there a week
INDIE: Mama has rearranged my cabinets
INDIE: And the pantry
JENSEN: Sawyer had them for a full month, I’m sure he can commiserate
INDIE: He’ll just grunt at me
Our older brother had played tour guide to our parents all of last month, and now they were on part two of their road trip visiting Indie. I push the call button, but instead of picking up, she sends me to voicemail.
INDIE: I’m hiding in the bathroom
