Page 18 of Spring Break with a Bass Player
“Do I have a chance to fix this or not?” I ask, steeling myself for the rejection I deserve but hoping with every fiber in mybeing it doesn’t come. I haven’t wanted this in so long it feels like I’ve forgotten how to do it at all.
“What do you want?”
“You if you’re willing to let me try.”
“I don’t want to play games.”
“No games, but it doesn’t mean you’re not a prize,” I say, going for levity and silently cheering when his lips twitch the slightest bit.
“Cute.”
“You are.”
“Seriously, where wasthis”—he motions between us—“earlier? I mean, we could’ve been making out somewhere by now.”
“I know, I just?—”
“Wow, didn’t even refute the making out thing.”
“I forget that people have feelings sometimes.”
“Okay…”
“I told you I wanted to put you in that box with my ex because he didn’t have any. The people we hung out with didn’t either, and even though the logical part of me knows that entire time in my life was toxic—the relationships, the environment, justeverything—tonight I didn’t want to use logic.”
“I think you wanted to make this better but it’s getting worse,” he says like he’s hoping I’ll save us both by stopping. But I can’t. If he’s going to want to see me after tonight, he needs it all.
“That’s what I mean, though. I haven’t been that person in a long time, and I tryreallyhard not to be. But when you moved in, all of it came flooding back, and I’ve been trying so hard to keep it at bay.”
“I’m still not him, Saige; I’m not any of them.”
“I know, but do you think they weren’t charming? Persuasive? I’ve seen it all, and the only way I know how to protect myself now is to be closed off and suspicious.”
“Yeah, well, I like that version too.”
“But Ididn’twant to like you.”
He opens his mouth and closes it, canting his head slightly to the side. “But you do.”
“Yes.”
His grin is slow as it moves across his face, a subtle victory dance for the admission.
“So, what now?”
“Now, I’m going to go inside and soak in the tub while I figure out how to date the bass player from TCA.”
“Had to throw in the part about the bath, didn’t you?”
“I could have added the part about getting myself off too, but I didn’t want to compromise your sweet sensibilities,” I taunt, making him groan and take another step back.
“You’re not gonna tempt me to get out of doing the work.” He says the words, but his tone is disbelieving like he’s not quite on board with them either.
“I’m not afraid of putting in the work, Band Camp.”
“I guess we’ll see now, won’t we?”
“I guess we will.”
