Page 21 of After this Summer
“You’re making the face again,” Pen says over the lip of her mocktail.
“I’m just trying to take it all in.”
“She misses her beau,” Reid teases, and I can’t help but laugh.
“That’s honestly terrible.” I scrunch up my nose and they both laugh, my hand falling to my belly as I settle onto the stool in the kitchen.
“How are you feeling?” Pen asks and I hold back my eye roll but just barely, because she’s asking because she cares—not because she’s trying to smother me. Between the move and marrying Beau andhaving a babyall adding stress to my overflowing plate, I’m more than a little sensitive.
About everything.
“I’m feeling good.” Motioning to my leggings, I say, “I’ve been living in these. I hate jeans anyway but there’s no reason to attempt hard pants right now.”
I’d swapped out my lacey bras for nursing ones with soft stretchy material when my boobs became huge practically overnight. The only thing saving me right now is they don’t hurt every time I breathe.
That was a special time.
“You look gorgeous,” Pen tells me and I thank her.
Because that’s what you’re supposed to do.
But I’m scared.
Scared about the whole labor and delivery part, having a newborn, marrying Beau while trying to get my life on track, and a whole host of other things vying for my attention.
I’d taken the guest bed last night, and even though I’d seen the flash of hurt in his eyes, Beau hadn’t pushed. Our dynamic had shifted in that hospital room, and I just needed space when we walked intohishouse.
I’d be naïve to think I’d last the rest of this pregnancy without getting naked with him, but we need boundaries.
Lots of them.
But boundaries would be completely contradictory to the white lingerie I ordered last night before I’d fallen asleep.
For our wedding night.
Ugh.
“It’s weird. I can feel the baby moving and my body is changing, but I feel good now that I’m over the morning sickness. That was awful for a while.”
“I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
“Me too.”
Guilt washes over me like it always does when I think of how trivial it is to complain about being sick for a little while. I’m healthy, the baby is healthy, and that needs to be my focus.
Not Toni.
Not the shop or my savings.
Not my veryreal, fake marriage to Beau.
“Are you finding out what you’re having?” Pen asks and I shake my head, both in response and to clear my head.
“No, we want to be surprised.” It’s notexactlyhow the conversation went but it feels better than sayingI was trying to distract Beau from having to marry me.
“I can’t handle that kind of suspense,” Reid says with wide, innocent eyes. “What if the doctor just tells me and the rest of you can wait till the birth?”
“Take it up with Beau.” Laughing, I take a sip of my drink as I watch him furiously type out a text.
