Page 25 of After this Summer
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” The words are soft as I pick off an invisible piece of lint from my shirt.
“It’s my fault I haven’t been a better brother to you, and that’s on me.”
“We could both be better.”
“Maybe,” he concedes. “More importantly, congratulations are in order. How are you feeling?”
“No lecture on the benefits of using protection?”
He chuckles and I sag into the recliner in the living room, the rich brown leather so soft and comfortable I might not be able to get up.
“Nah, I’d rather skip over the part where we talk about you having sex.”
I snort. My brother isn’t usually this funny, but maybe it’s different now that we’re older, and I just never noticed.
“I appreciate that and I’m doin’ all right. I moved in with Beau this weekend in Wintervale.”
“Beau, huh? Are you happy?”
“I am.” Sighing, I add, “And he’s a really good man.”
“He better be.”
“I ended up in the hospital a few days ago. Everything’s all right but it was scary. I fainted, completely my fault for pushing myself too hard, but he dropped everything to be with me.”
“That’s good that he was able to be there,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m looking forward to meeting him.”
Worrying my bottom lip with my teeth, I nod even though he can’t see me. “How’s a month from now?”
“The baby will be here that soon?” he asks, his voice an odd mix of dejection and excitement.
“No, I’m about halfway through this pregnancy so you have a while for that but…” Inhaling a deep breath, I add, “Beau and I are getting married.”
“Married?” He pauses, obviously trying to pick his words carefully. “Are you sure?”
“Having a baby with him is fine but getting married to the man is too far?” It’s supposed to be a joke, but it sours my stomach because our marriageisn’treal despite what Beau believes. It’s temporary.
A not so simple arrangement.
A necessity.
“You know how I feel about marriage.”
“It was so long ago.”
“That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen,” he snaps and I wonder if he’ll always be so bitter about that time in his life. After a moment, he says, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Does that mean you won’t be there?”
“Of course I’ll be there, it’s just…” He trails off and I give him a minute to work through everything that’s bothering him. “You know what? Never mind. I told you I’d be better, so tell me when to fly in and I’ll make sure I’m there.”
“I love you,” I tell him, and maybe it’s the hormones talking but Imisshim and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt like this.
“Yeah, I love you too.”
“Good, now we can hang up and watch Jensen have a meltdown.” Sawyer chuckles and we say our goodbyes. Without waiting, I dive back into our sibling group chat.
INDIE: Good news. I’m getting married!
