Page 13 of Mountain Man's Holiday Bell
“You look like someone canceled Christmas,” Wade muttered.
Might as well have. My shot at giving Paige everything she deserved? That was a holiday miracle I didn’t trust myself to believe in.
We finished setting up the wreath table, and Wade suggested hot chocolate. I followed him automatically, but my eyes stayed locked on Paige. The way she waved goodbye to that mother and child—like their happiness had been a gift to her instead of the other way around—wrecked me.
And then I remembered yesterday. The way she’d trusted me with her body. Her first time. How she’d looked at me like I was safe, like I was worthy. And now here I was, doubting whether I could ever be enough.
“So,” Wade said as he took his cup from the vendor, “when do we get to meet her officially? Luca’s already planning Christmas dinner.”
The thought of sitting at that table, surrounded by holiday cheer, made my stomach drop. “I don’t know. We’re still figuring things out.”
Wade gave me a look. “You’ve been glued to her hip all day. That’s not figuring things out. That’s full-on attachment.”
“It’s complicated.”
“How? You like her. She likes you. End of story.”
If only.
“She deserves someone who knows how to build that kind of life,” I said quietly.
“You mean picket fences and golden retrievers?” He scoffed. “News flash, Jonas—Paige lives out of her car half the year. She’s not exactly playing house.”
“That’s different.”
“Different how? She’s adventurous. You’re loyal. That sounds like a pretty damn good combination to me.”
I didn’t answer. The silence told him everything.
He studied me, his expression shifting. “What’s really going on?”
I hesitated, then forced it out. “Foster care. Twelve homes. No real family. No blueprint.”
Wade went still, then let out a slow breath. “Shit, man.” His voice softened. “I’m sorry.”
“It is what it is.” I shrugged. “But it means I don’t know how to do this. Not the right way. And she deserves someone who does.”
“Jonas, listen to me. You know how to show up. You know how to fight for people. You think that’s not family?”
I wanted to believe him, but fear sat heavy in my chest.
Before I could argue, a familiar laugh carried across the crowd. Paige. I turned automatically. She was surrounded by another family now, three kids tugging on her hands, her face glowing as she bent down to their level.
“She’s good with kids,” Wade said.
“Yeah.” My voice was rough.
“You want any?”
The question hit me like a sucker punch. “I don’t know.”
“Then figure it out before you screw this up,” Wade said flatly. “Because from where I’m standing, she doesn’t look like a woman settling for someone who doesn’t know what he wants.”
I knew exactly what I wanted. But she deserved someone who wouldn’t screw things up.
I was still wrestling with that when Paige appeared, a frown creasing her forehead. “Hey. You disappeared.”
I forced a smile. “Helping Wade.”
