Page 104 of Enough
As I help her change into her gown, I ask, “Is anyone here with you?”
“My foster mom dropped me off and said she’d be back in a few hours.”
Her answer makes me cringe. She shouldn’t be alone. “How old are you, if you don’t mind my asking?”
“I’ll be eighteen next week. Then I’ll be able to get the hell out of here and away from this fucking town.”
As she lifts her arm into her gown, I see scars up and down her inner arms. I instantly realize she’s had a rough life and it makes me want to hold her. I wonder what has happened to her to make her so unhappy and angry.
Another contraction hits her and I hold her steady as she bites her lips in pain. She finishes changing and I help cover her. “Would you like a warm blanket?”
“You can do that?”
I nod and smile.
“Sure,” she says.
I bring her two and gently tuck them in around her.
“How old are your kids?” she asks.
“My oldest, Kale, is twelve and a half, and my daughter, Marlow is eight.”
I see her glance to my hand and note the lack of ring on my finger.
“Their dad and I are divorced.”
She nods as she curls with her next contraction. To my surprise, she reaches for my hand and I let her squeeze it.
“Try to breathe, sweetie,” I say as I brush the hair from her face. “I know you want to hold your breath through the pain, but it helps to take a long breath.”
“Why are you being so nice to me?” she questions.
I sigh as I gaze into her eyes. They’re filled with so much fear. Although her hair is long and almost jet-black and she doesn’t look like me in the slightest, I still see myself in her eyes. “I know what it’s like to be pregnant and feel scared and alone. I don’t know if that’s how you feel, but my gut is telling me it is.”
“I’m not scared. I’m not scared of anything! And I told you my mom will be here. I don’t need you babysitting me and laying your pity on me. I’m fine. I wish you’d just leave and let me be!”
I nod and offer a small smile. I place the call button next to her hand. “Okay, well if you need anything at all, you just push this button and I’ll check on you. Your doctor should be in, in a few minutes.”
“Whatever. Just stop staring at me and get the fuck out.”
As I gently angle her door so that it’s slightly closed, I feel an ache in my chest for her. I pray her mom shows up soon. I don’t like that she’s going through this on her own.
Dr. Fidell stops in to check her progress and tells her she’s three centimeters dilated. After starting an IV and giving her several bags of fluid, she receives an epidural in her spine. I see an immediate change in her demeanor. Being in pain can bring out the worst in people. I remember saying a few choice words to my nurses too.
I stop in to change her IV bag and she seems to be sleeping. I try to be as quiet as possible.
“I’m sorry I was so mean to you,” she whispers.
Her soft voice surprises me. “It’s okay. Being in labor really sucks,” I say with sincerity.
“I’m scared,” she whispers.
I gesture to her bed and ask if I can sit, and she nods.
“I know you are. I can tell.”
“I’m not keeping him. Do you think I’m a horrible person?” she asks.
