Page 11 of Enough
“Get married.”
I cough and choke a little on the beef. I can’t catch my breath. Mike stands and pats my back as he laughs. “You okay?”
“Married?” I ask as I regain my air and swallow what’s in my mouth.
“Yeah,” he nods. “I love you, you love me. We’re going to be a family, so why not make it official?”
My stomach twists and turns. Apparently the shock of his words even makes the baby not want to eat anymore. I place the taco on my plate and shift uncomfortably in my seat. I wonder why I’m not thrilled with the suggestion. For months I’ve wondered if Mike wants to be with me or if he just feels forced because of the pressure his parents are putting on him. “Did your mom and dad put you up to this?” I question, speaking what’s on my mind.
“No! Why would you ask that? This is my idea. All me!”
He seems proud of himself. I fold my napkin in my lap and stare down at my growing stomach. I’ll have to stop going to school once the baby is born. I only have three months of classes left until I can take my finals to complete my junior year. We’re going to be living with his parents after the birth. It would make it easier to co-parent if we’re married, but is this what he really wants? “Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with me?” I ask with concern.
Mike laughs. “Oh, Everly. You’re so beautiful when you’re nervous. Your forehead smushes together and your nose crinkles into a ball. I’m going to be a father, and you are the mother of my child. The baby will be a Haley. Shouldn’t its mom be too?”
Everly Haley. I repeat the name over in my head. I don’t know why I suddenly feel so indifferent about it. For the last six months I thought I loved Mike’s last name. Now as I pair it with mine, it just doesn’t seem right. I manage a small smile.
Mike crouches down next to me. “Marry me?”
It isn’t the proposal of my dreams and he isn’t on his knee, but it’s better than nothing. He wants to marry me. Hewants us to be a family. As I let the idea sink in and I stare into loving, wanting eyes, something inside tells me it’s enough.
I nod. “Yes. I’ll marry you.”
“Haley?” the nurse calls. I snap out of my trance and raise my hand like I’m in class. She smiles kindly at me as I push myself up out of my seat. I’m six months pregnant and I’m huge.
She motions for me to lead and I waddle through the door into the hall. “Let’s get your weight,” she says as she points to the scale.
“Ugh, do I have to?”
She laughs lightly. “Yes, I’m afraid so.”
I step onto the scale and watch her slide the bar to the right. Then right some more. I can feel my eyes pop, and I instantly remember I’m still wearing my shoes.
“Wait!” I announce. I step down and kick off my shoes, certain they weigh ten pounds each. I try to think lightly as she adjusts the scale, but not by much of anything.
“Eight pounds,” she says as she scribbles on her clipboard.
“No… are you sure?” I beg with hope.
“The baby is growing. It happens.”
“But I’m only six months and I’ve gained thirty pounds. Is that possible? Is that bad?”
“If you’re worried, you should voice your concerns to the doctor. Ultrasound today, correct?”
“Yes.” I smile.
“Well, let’s get you ready. Doctor Gernsbaugh is actually running on schedule today, so it should be no time at all.”
I glance up at the clock in the hall. He’s late. “I’m waiting for my husband. He should be here any minute.”
She nods her head and leads me to the room. “We’ll bring him in as soon as he arrives.’”
I’m thankful to not have to change into a paper gown this time, and I sit on the exam table, staring at my phone. I text him three times and he doesn’t respond. The nurse comes in twice, and I keep asking her for more time. She seems to be getting impatient. I call his number and it goes immediately to voicemail. “Where are you? You’re thirty minutes late.” I hope and pray he’s on his way, but something in my heart tells me otherwise. I try to control my anxiety when Dr. Gernsbaugh sticks his head in the door. “Are we ready?” he asks.
I nod my head as the phone trembles in my hands. “He’s stuck in traffic,” I lie as I glance down at my feet. I’m such a bad liar. “He could be another hour, so we might as well just start.” I wave it off like it’s not a big deal, but I can see the uncertainty on his face. I smile brightly, hoping to shroud my inner sadness. As I lean back onto the table and he pours the jelly onto my stomach, I silently curse Mike for missing yet another appointment.
The thumping sound grows stronger and diverts my attention from my thoughts to the monitor. The pulsing heart and the rhythmic beats in the middle of the screen are all I need to feel happy and grateful.
