Page 36 of Enough
“Well, yesterday I got some really great news and then I got some really bad news. See… I thought we were going to have another baby, but then I found out I was wrong.”
“What do you mean?” Marlow questions.
I shake my head. It’s not coming out the way I want it to. I glance up at Grandma Kay and she sits down next to me. Her comforting closeness helps me continue. I try again. “I wasn’t feeling well, and I found out it was because I was going to have a baby. But when I got to the hospital, I found out the baby wasn’t strong enough to survive.”
“It died?” Kale asks.
I nod my head and feel tears threaten once more. I remind myself that I need to be strong.
“It died?” Marlow repeats.
I nod once more, and I see her gaze fall to the floor. She pushes her hands to her eyes and starts to cry. Kale just stares at me. I know he doesn’t know what to say.
“Hey.” I grab her and pull her onto my lap. “It’s okay. You know why?” I ask. I take Kale’s hand and pull him to me as well. To my surprise, he lets me.
I wrap my arms around them. “It’s okay because Grandma and Grandpa London are going to take care of her for us.”
Marlow points to Grandma Kay. “But she’s here. Is she going to heaven too?”
“No, not this Grandma London. My mom. Grandma Kay is my dad’s mom.”
Marlow stares at Grandma Kay and she nods her head.
“It was a girl?” Kale asks.
“I don’t know,” I tell him. “But I feel like it was, so that’s what I’m going with. He could have been a boy. Either way, Mommy is just a little sad right now. But I promise I’ll be better very soon.”
Kale stands and hugs me tightly. “I’ll take care of you, Mom.”
“Me too,” Marlow repeats in both words and action.
I sit there and hold my living children in my arms. I remember how blessed I am that they’re mine. “I love you guys. You two amaze me. Every single day.” I feel a tear slide down my cheek and wipe it away immediately. “Is that spaghetti I smell?” It’s a poor attempt to change the subject, but by Marlow’s expression, it appears to work.
“My pagetti!” Marlow yells as she leaps up to check on it. Grandma Kay follows, assuring her it’s fine.
Kale is quiet and pensive. “You okay?” I ask.
His head lifts immediately and nods once. “Yep. You?”
“Yep.” And for the first time I feel like it might be true.
As Kale sets the table, I explain to them how Aunt Gwen is going to be staying with us for a few days and how Daddy might need to go to Grandpa and Grandma Haley’s to help out for a while. They seem fine with it. They rarely see their dad during the week anyway.
Gwen joins us for dinner, and after clean-up Grandma Kay lets me know she’s going to be staying for a few days as well, just to make sure everything goes smoothly. It’s like a fiesta in our home for the kids. They’re in heaven with all the attention Gwen and Grandma Kay shower upon them. They fight me on going to bed until I remind them that both of themwill be here when they wake up.
I sit on the couch for most of the night. It’s nice to have company. They make me stronger just by their presence. After both kids are in bed and Grandma Kay retires to sleep with Marlow, Gwen opens up a Walton’s bag she hid behind the others on the counter and pulls out a bottle of wine. I start to speak and she stops me, holding up her hand in Gwen style.
“Before you say no, you’re only taking Tylenol. It won’t interact with one glass.”
“I wasn’t going to say no. I was going to tell you where to find the glasses. You might have to dust them off.”
Gwen laughs. I watch her open the cabinet, remove two, and blow on them before rinsing them out.
“They don’t see a lot of action,” I tell her.
She stares at one. “I completely relate, glass. I don’t see much action either.”
I genuinely laugh. Leave it to Gwen to make me smile when I want to frown.
