Page 74 of Enough
He reaches across the table and takes my hand. It surprises me, but I let him. His hand is strong but soft, and he holds mine firmly in his as if it now belongs to him. I stare at our hands for a moment, and as he pulls mine farther across the table to him, I lift my eyes to his.
“I missed you, Ever.”
I’m quiet for a moment while I examine the seriousness of his gorgeous hazel eyes. I’m not sure if it’s the wine or if it’s my newfound confidence, but I laugh.
He huffs and shakes his head. “You find that amusing?”
I haul my hand away from him, and my sudden movement shocks him.
“Did I say something wrong?” he asks. His brows furrow in concern.
“Do you know what I was doing while you were trotting the globe?”
Rodrick places some type of shellfish in front of me, and although I’m hungry, I realize I have no idea what it is or how to eat it. As soon as he’s gone, I stare at my food and feel tears threaten my eyes.
“Tell me,” he pleads sincerely.
I know he’s trying. Trying to do something. Maybe he’s just trying to show me everything I missed out on when I let him go. I was right. Maybe he does have something to prove to me. My life flashes before my eyes, and I wonder if I had stayed with him if he would have married me. If I would have traveled the world with him and been the sophisticated woman he is clearly used to. I stare down at my plate as my newfound knowledge invades my senses. “I don’t know what this is, Nick, and I don’t know how to eat it.”
He reaches to his plate and lifts one. “They’re clams. You just…”
“This isn’t me,” I tell him honestly.
“I’ll order you something else. It’s fine.” He lifts his hand to signal for Rodrick, and I stop him.
“No! That’s not what I mean. What I mean is all this.” I gesture around the room and sigh. I can feel tears in my eyes, and I have the urge to run. “I’m not sure why you asked me here. Maybe it was to take me out for a nice meal, maybe it was to show off how worldly you are, or maybe it was to just let me know what I missed out on when I broke up with you. I get it, Nick. I really do. I messed up. You’re obviously very successful, well spoken, and hotter than hell.”
I take another sip of wine and glance at his face, waiting for some kind of cocky response to the hot comment. InsteadI’m met with furrowed brows and a worried expression. I continue, “But this isn’t me. While you were out exploring the world, I was fat, pregnant, and alone, living in my in-laws’ basement and eating frozen dinners.”
“Ever, I…”
“And while you were eating at expensive restaurants and dating classy women, I was grocery shopping in my yoga pants and feeling like a loser.”
“Will you please let me say something?”
The tears are about to flood the dam. “So, yeah, I understand. Your life is amazing next to mine. But you know what? I have two fantastic kids that I love with all my heart, and I worked my ass off to finish school after the divorce. I may have never left this state, and I certainly haven’t developed a taste for expensive, crappy dry wine, but I’m happy with my life and with me.” I push myself away from the table and stumble when I try to stand on Gwen’s heels.
Nick leaps up after me, but I deftly remove my shoes and rush away from him and out of the restaurant. The cool air hits me like a punch in the face. I reach into my purse for my valet ticket and accidentally drop everything on the ground. The valet speeds toward me to help, and I can feel eyes full of pity searing into my skin from every angle. As I bend down to grasp my lipstick, wallet, and a stray tampon, I feel a hand gently touch my back.
“Please, don’t leave,” Nick begs as he places my items into my purse and hands it back to me. “Go for a drive with me? Please give me a chance to explain.”
I find my valet ticket and Nick helps me stand. The attendant shifts attentively in front of us, not knowing what to do. I have this pounding in my head that makes me want torun. I hear my grandmother’s words and I pivot to face Nick, trying to focus on him through blurry eyes.
“Don’t leave. Please. Come with me? Try to trust me, if that’s possible.”
His eyes are burning into mine, awaiting my response. I simply nod, and he seems to sigh in relief. He hands the attendant his ticket and notices me shiver from the cold. He removes his jacket and places it over my shoulders. I’m hit with the smell of him, and it makes my knees feel weak. It’s familiar and comforting. As his black SUV is brought around, he opens the door and ushers me into the passenger seat. He hurries around the car, still holding my heels, and hands the driver what I can only assume is a very generous tip.
He immediately turns up the heat and glances into traffic to pull out.
“Seat belt, please,” I mumble.
He pauses and turns to me as if my simple words are magic to his ears. He smirks and clicks his belt into place. I wonder if he remembers how I used to yell at him for not wearing it when we dated in school.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“I should be thanking you. I don’t know why I always forget.”
“I meant thank you for coming after me.”
