Page 117 of Enough
I push a tear away from my eyes and make my last steps to her door. I pick up the can of red paint and three brushes and close the door behind me.
“Ready?” Gwen asks with a smile.
I nod.
“Kale and Nick went for a walk,” Marlow says as she inches closer.
“You ready to paint?” I ask her.
She shrugs. “Why are we doing this again?”
“Well…” I glance up at Gwen and she smiles. “Whenever I felt sad about something, Grandma Kay would sit with me and we would paint this door. Somehow, like magic, painting this door would always make me feel better. Grandma Kay would say, ‘Every stroke is a memory you cherish or you leave behind.’”
“Are we cherishing or leaving?” Marlow asks.
“As Grandma Kay would say, ‘I can’t tell you that, songbird. That’s completely up to you.’”
“Do I get to be the songbird now?” she asks with a small,hopeful smile.
“If you’d like.”
“Yeah, I want to be a songbird just like you.”
I kiss her on the forehead and the three of us paint that door, for the very last time.
Ten months later
IT’S BEEN JUST over a year since Grandma Kay passed away, and I miss her every day. I’ve decided to keep her memory alive by quoting her as frequently as possible. I’ve also taken up the habit of never being the first to let go in a hug. It’s been an enjoyable experience, although with Nick I have to force him to let go first or we’d never part.
He insists we attend mass at a church downtown on Christmas Eve. Cooper and Gwen come with us and shuffle the kids to the car after mass. Nick tells me there’s something he wants to show me, and we sit patiently inside as the people clear the pews. I glance around at the ornate stained-glass windows. They don’t make them like this anymore. When the church is finally empty and the lights dim, he turns to me.
“This church is special to me. Do you know why?”
I shake my head no as I stare at his lips. His stubble has grown into a beard and he’s even more attractive, if that’s possible. Cooper insists he did it in an attempt to try to be as hot as him. They still compete over everything and are as close as Gwen and I are. The four of us have developed a bond that isdear to my heart.
“I want to tell you a story.”
“Okay,” I say warily with a nod of my head.
“I’ve never been big on church,” he begins. “Even though I was raised that way, I just never went on a regular basis. When I moved here almost four years ago and found out you were married, I was distraught. I hoped that somehow I’d find you again, and when it became clear that wasn’t going to happen, I found myself walking with nowhere to go.”
I listen carefully as I remove my glove and take his hand in mine.
“I happened upon this church. It was a Saturday morning and it was empty. I sat in this exact pew and I asked God to give me a sign. I missed Wisconsin and my family, and I was ready to pack up and go home. I sat here for a long time waiting, and I got nothing. I sighed to myself because I realized how dumb I was being. I waved up to God before I stood and somberly weaved my way out of church.”
He stands and lifts my hands into his, leading me out of the pew.
“Oh, is this a moving story?” I ask playfully.
He smiles. “Yes, yes it is. Now be quiet and let me talk.”
I giggle as he leads me down the aisle and out the door.
We stand outside as the snow falls gently around us. It’s beautiful. I glance over at him wide-eyed and laughing, and the heat from his gaze stops me in my tracks. I love him so.
“I shuffled out this door and stood here for a moment, not knowing where to go. I turned to my left and then decided to go right instead. Guess who bumped into me?”
“Cooper?” I ask.
